11 OKCupid Pickup Lines That’ll Guarantee You Won’t Get A Date

1. When you have an impulse to quote a lyric from one-hit-wonder band Hinder, check you aren’t mildly hallucinating…

1

2. NEVER sound stingy when it comes to dental hygiene.

2

3. NEVER threaten to send your online lover to jail. Mainly because you don’t know that bitch or have ANY idea where she lives. EMPTY THREAT ALERT.

3

4. Try to avoid sounding like a Salem Witch Hunt Protestant.

4

5. Don’t assume the girl is bisexual, lesbian, or cool enough to hook up with French girls.

5

6. There’s playing hard to get and then there’s sounding like a total fucking dickhead whose reviewing Tinder pics with a frat bro. This method doesn’t work. IT DOES NOT. WORK.

6

7. Try NOT to go out on a limb when you’re looking at a very white, very blonde, very generic looking girl. Most likely, she’s not the exotic freak in the sheets you’re after.

7

No…

8. Don’t question the reality of someone’s existence. Don’t assume a photo of someone’s face implies horniness ever because I just don’t think that’s a thing…

8

9. Don’t ask dumb fucking questions that include giving limbs to liquids…

9

10. Don’t try to speak English if you just can’t…

10

11. Don’t ever, ever say this:

11

Related

More From Thought Catalog