1. There is no greater joy in life than being able to sit on your ass and eat while being mind-numbed into obsession with some obscure documentary. There just isn’t.
2. Doing anything else would involve going outside. There are people outside.
3. Doing anything else requires pants.
4. In one way or another, we’re all looking for that sense of satisfaction, hope, interest and fulfillment in our lives, and honestly, it’s really difficult to attain it but then to maintain it beyond that. Why try when you can achieve the same benefits from living vicariously through someone else’s fictional, fabricated TV life?
5. Because you can write this off as a day to relax, millennial style.
6. Because life begins at the end of your comfort zone, and your end was at the last episode of the last season of whatever you just watched.
7. Because how else will you understand internet memes?
8. If we’re being really logistical here, because you’re simply doing nothing more than researching conversational topics for when you do decide to leave the safety of your bed this evening. Like, who isn’t talking about the prison culture in OITNB? No one.