We all have that friend that uses words like “pedantic” and “palatial.” No joke – one of my roommates used the term “palatial” to describe the massive Manhattan apartment she lived in before the tiny Brooklyn abode to which we were cast.
Smiling for no reason has been scientifically linked to happiness. Even when there is absolutely no reason to be happy, smiling releases hormones like dopamine and serotonin which make you feel better. So unless you have been dumped within the past 24 hours or by charging your cheap dinner on your credit card, you have consequently maxed it out – things could probably be a lot worse. Look at you – you apparently have an internet connection and sufficient time in the day to read for leisure. Those should elicit at least a half-smile.
3. A sense of humor
Nobody will think you’re funny if your self-deprecation is not met with at least some confidence and light-heartedness. Otherwise, it’s just sad (and awkward for everyone). Laugh at yourself, but do so in a way that Tina Fey would: I’m funny, yeah, but I’m also smart and sexy as hell.
4. Having it all together
My friends tell me they’re so jealous that I have it all together. I have to laugh because, in fact, all this time I thought they were the ones that did. It turns out that buying $10 pairs of pants from H&M and counting cheap lattes as meals looks a lot like “having it all together.” Who knew?! And by pretending you have it all together, you start to feel like you really do even if what’s really happening is not unlike a duck in the pond: Effortless gliding on top but exhausted, flapping legs underwater.
Seriously. If you can’t orgasm after hearing what sounds a lot like an orgasm, you might be a robot.