What Are Real Friends For?

Let me preface by saying that I do not believe any one person can be defined as an “introvert” or an “extrovert”. We all have our moments and we are just a point along the spectrum of these two extremes. It changes too, people feel extremely outgoing at time and sometime not. If I had to prescribe to a label though, I would say that I am more on the introvert side of things. It can be difficult: I over-think things and there are certain days when I try to be someone I am not… just because I know I am in a group setting and it might upset the harmony.

Depending on who I am with it’s easier to manage; sometimes it’s very taxing and I feel like I am losing energy by just by being around people. Some people who might be more on the extrovert side of the spectrum might feel empowered by being around others when they feel down. I am not your typical dictionary defined introvert – “[someone in] the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life” – as defined by Merriam Webster dictionary. But I tend to be more of an introvert based on the definition.

The point of writing this is about friends and while this introduction might seem very much off point to what I’m getting it at but you will see that eventually there’s a connection. In any relationship there’s always the give and take and in my mind the balance is extremely important in defining who is a real friend and who is not. As harsh as it sounds not all of your friends are true friends. I don’t mean that in a negative way – that they are taking advantage of you and are not real friends but they are not the most compatible friends to you. As I said before I feel very much drained after being around people who I love and adore very much, because we are so different along the spectrum of the “introverted vs extroverted”.

My best friends are the ones who feed off my energy when I am up and the ones you feed off of when you most need their support and energy when I am down. And in the give-and-take you some how fill the perfect balance. This might seem very serendipitous or coincidental but when it happens over and over again you know there has be more than just the coincidental. These are the friends who know when to shut up and enjoy the silence together, wallow in sorrow together or be joyous together. They just read you and adjust in the perfect way to complement your feelings and mood. These are true friend. If you can identify this person or persons you are truly blessed (forget god and otherwise). Give them a hug and they will understand, too, why. TC mark

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image – Bev Goodwin

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