I am extremely attracted to one of my supervisors at school that I met last semester.
He’s in his late 20s and I am in my early 20s. I noticed him a few days before meeting him because of his hair – I had no particular opinion, I just noticed him. When I finally met him, we hit it off right away. He was very friendly to me and he made me laugh –
he is the first person I felt at ease with this year.
I began talking to him more and developing a crush on him. He always made me smile! We had a moment when I thought we might kiss at a formal event because we were both drunk but I ended up excusing myself to leave with friends because I thought I would either make a fool of myself or (if he really did want to kiss me) put him at risk of losing his job. We never spoke of that night again really, but I always felt sexual tension (Whether or not it was mutual I cannot say for sure). The day I left school I had some alone time with him. I could have told him my feelings or at least that I thought he was attractive, but I just couldn’t for some reason. I was scared and I didn’t want him to think of me as a silly schoolgirl having a crush on him because he’s an older man. I don’t just think of him that way, I think of him as someone I feel equal to, especially because he never made me feel otherwise. I guess I was pretty obvious with my attraction, though. He even joked about me wanting to be with him, and I don’t know if he realized how accurate the “joke” was!
If he weren’t my supervisor I would have been much more open, regardless of the age difference, but otherwise it would undermine his position. He’s a talented singer and I found a YouTube video of him singing after someone told me about his band. I still listen to it and his singing still echoes in my mind. I will never forget him, even though I will probably never see him again because he lives “across the pond”. I secretly hold on to the hope that I will bump into him again some day, but I don’t tell anyone because they will probably think I am pathetic. I am so scared of him fading into my memory, which is probably why I still listen to that YouTube almost everyday. I love his voice.