I think the only reason only reason I’m alive is because I care too much about how the people would react upon my death.
I’ve been really depressed for the past 5 years or so and I don’t know really know why. I have a lot of friends and I’m pretty social. I don’t care if I die. If it were up to me I would choose not to live. I’m not going to kill myself though. I’ve got too much to live for. I want to make my mark on this world and not in a negative way. I’ve contemplated ended my life in the past but I thought about the emotional pain it would bring to my family and friends. They’ve all helped my through some tough times but it seems to be getting worse and I don’t know what to do. Recently, I’ve been distancing myself from them in the event that I do decide I don’t want to live anymore and it’s starting to make me more depressed. I know the sensible thing to do would be to continue to talk to them but as my life is progressing more of my friends are moving away and I don’t want to make new friends.