I don’t know why I do it. I really don’t think I’m a bad guy, but for some reason I can’t stop treating women like complete dogshit.
It’s not all women, just girls that I am sexually involved with (including girlfriends). There is one girlfriend in-particular who is beautiful (I mean knockout gorgeous), smart, funny, and everything I would ever want in a partner. I mean, I was IN LOVE with this girl, but I did some of the most fucked up shit to her and I don’t know why. I would call her horrible names and make wild accusations about her that I knew weren’t true.
One time I accused her of cheating (even though I was), we fought, had makeup sex, and afterwards I spit in her face and called her whore scum. She still stayed with me for two years before she couldn’t take it anymore. All other relationships I have, no matter how hard I try, I treat them horrible. That being said, I have NEVER and will NEVER hit a woman, It is all verbal. I know that verbal abuse is still just as much abuse as physically hurting them.
I don’t know how to stop. I want to know what is wrong with me. I know this makes me sound like a horrible human being, but the truth is what I do affects me in every facet of my being. I just want to stop.