Why Did I Rush Into This Marriage?

You made a mistake. You married someone you barely knew. And now that you know him, you realize this isn’t the life you wanted. Everyone warned you this would happen, but you were too… Certain? Scared? Lonely? Your reasoning doesn’t matter anymore, what does is that you want out. Out of this loveless, sexless marriage. Ask yourself, if you hadn’t married him and were still just dating, would you have broken up with him by now?

Why did you marry him? He is inconsiderate, impolite, and arrogant. But that didn’t matter did it, not in those moments when he was sweet to you, when you thought you were catching a glimpse of the man he could be. I’ll tell you why he married you; he is used to being taken care of. He needed you to do things for him that he hates doing. Paying bills, managing money, cleaning. Without you he was left with everything. He wants a mom, he’s not ready for a wife.

Now you’re a few months into this hell of a marriage and you want out, don’t you? You’re realizing he will never be the man you dreamed about. The one from the books you read, the movies you watched. He’s out there you know, waiting for you. This man you married is not the man for you. It is not where you live, it’s not where you work thats making you unhappy. It’s him. And it’s not too late for you, so why don’t you leave him?

You haven’t left him yet because you’re afraid. Afraid of hurting people. Afraid of disappointing people. You’re a feeler, and that is ohkay. But it’s time to feel for yourself for a change. You can’t live your life like this, you deserve better. He, his friends, maybe even his family will hate you for it, but that is their job, they are not married to him, they don’t know you like I do. It will be messy, it will be hard, but you have your own friends, your own family that will help you through this.

You’re  afraid people will say I told you so, the ones that warned you in the beginning. They won’t. Those people love you, and will be happy for you when you free yourself from this mess of a man.

You’re afraid of being alone. I understand that, I do. But being alone for once in your life will be good for you, I promise. It will allow you to explore yourself and chase the things you dream about. The things he is holding you back from.

Go, now. Leave this man. You know who to call and ask to stay with again until you are on your feet. You know who to call to talk this over with. You know because everything I just said has been on your mind for months, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself.  Divorce this man, embrace your happiness.

Sent from my iPhone Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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