I was repeatedly raped by my wife.
I’m ashamed that my wife raped me quite often. I sleep with a CRAP, and all to often I would wake up with her holding a pillow over my head, I could breathe because of the mask, and she would be using my sleep erection to get herself off. At first I would struggle and fight it, she outweighed me by 75lbs and was strong as fuck too. But she seemed to enjoy the struggle, so after a while I would just lay there and let her finish. I feel so empty and angry, I no longer trust women.
We have been divorced now for 3 years. I am alone and have no desire to date at all. I’ve had sex maybe 3 times since and really had a rough time dealing with it.
I hate how one sick women has changed me to the core to where I live like a hermit. I won’t ever allow anyone in my home, I go out with friends occasionally, anymore I prefer the safety of my home. I used to be very social and outgoing. Now it takes every bit of effort and a couple of drinks before I go out and I prefer to only be with the guys.
I feel like a broken person who will end up dying alone.
Update: Last night I had night terrors from this whole thing, I ended hurting myself, and I finally gathered the strength to share it with a very close and dear friend. I felt a huge relief in sharing what happened and how confused I am inside and all the different emotions. She was very supportive and comforting. I think it was all the encouragement and support from every here that really helped me garner the strength to finally reach out, Thank You!
When I was a child, I would kill small animals.
Please do not judge me for how I acted as a child. That is not me anymore.
So I made this as a throwaway, but this has been killing me inside my whole life. When I was young.. Probably 10 to 13, I would throw toads and kill fish with fireworks or by throwing them on the ground.. I have no idea why. I would only do it around friends and I had a friend who did the same thing. We thought it was funny? I loved all animals so much but for some reason I didn’t see fish and toads as living creatures.
I am 20 years old now and I am the biggest animal lover. I have parrots, dogs, cats and a lot of fish. I haven’t killed or hurt anything since I was like 13. I take birds that fall out of nests to the wildlife rehab center that is an hour away, no matter how busy I am. I have actively taken part in mass beach cleanups and have donated to non profits such as savejapandolphins.org and sea shepherd. I even breed clownfish and take them to the local fish stores so they don’t order wild caught anymore.
I now treat all animals better than I treat myself. I baby all my animals and they are all very healthy and happy.
My dad had to throw away a 250$ pair of shoes because of me.
When I was 10, me and my family went camping for a week. Since there were no toilets within miles of the campsite, I tried to hold in my s**t for a week. Don’t know why I had that brilliant idea, but 2 days before we left, I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and let out a massive turd that almost ripped my anus apart. My dad went out to gather some wood for the fire, and returned absolutely coated in my feces.
And to this very day, he still thinks it was a bear turd he slipped in.
I can’t go to sleep without fantasising about being kidnapped and sedated. It’s like the only way I can fall asleep now. The image of someone grabbing me and injecting something in me to make me fall asleep. I’ll sometimes go on to imagine what it’s like being under the drug and the effects of tiredness and sleep it’d put on me.
I farted cake at a blind nun.
Okay so this is probably really difficult to believe but bear with me. There was this really short, old and nasty nun at sunday school when i was a kid and she used to hit me and the other kids with a big metal cross when we were loud. I knew she was blind so one day I went to the church with a large slice of cake and knelt on the front pew. There was nobody about so I waited with the cake beside me in a bag. when she finally came out of the back room I placed the cake between my cheeks and waited until she had made her way over to the pew I was kneeling on to sit down and pray. As she walked by I let one rip. It sprayed all over her and the surrounding area in a crummy mess. She screamed louder than anything i’ve ever heard in my life and I laughed so hard even more cake was dispelled up into her face. She lunged forwards but I managed to roll away and ran out of the church before anyone else saw it was me.
I assisted in molesting my little brother. I was 8, my brother was 5, my neighbor was 10. We would get together and have something called ‘gay day’ and sometimes even my older brother was involved. We’d touch each others penises and kiss. Sometimes we’d even put our penises in each other’s mouths or between each other’s butts (not inside though).
The worse was one day we pressured my little brother to call himself gay. The neighbor was really persistent and at this point I realized what he was doing was wrong but I didn’t stop him. I felt bad. My brother was always a happy child and loved laughing. Since then he has been bitter.
His trauma led to him telling our parents about 5 years later and we were subsequently brought to family therapy. I was reserved and distant. What I did during ‘gay day’ and to my little brother was suppressed deep into my psyche and I refused to open up. The therapist said to ‘watch out for me’ as I grew up.
In my teen years, I pushed away everything that was good to me. I was ashamed and did not believe I deserved good things. I was punishing myself by pushing away love and happiness from others. My friends also were problematic and I had no love life. Luckily I stumbled onto the right things in life and I have changed in many ways. I still do not have the confidence to confess this to anyone outside my immediate family yet, but I at least am telling you now. My eyes are tearing as I write this. My little brother says he’s forgiven me but it’s taken years for me to finally forgive myself. Thank you for allowing me to tell you my deepest and darkest secret. It has removed a tremendous burden off my chest.
Edit: During that time period, I am also guilty of doing the same to my younger cousins. I said it was normal so I touched their penises too. I rarely see them and hope I can talk to them about it, years down the road. My childhood wasn’t exactly the best.
My suicide kit is finally ready.
going to try and see my son one last time tomorrow and then i’m going to do it. i’m just happy that it’s all finally going to be over
I have gone from thinking to wanting to be a call girl. I want to become a call girl so I can regularly get fucked with out dating anyone, so I can finish my half done tattoos, and so I can move my child and I out of my moms house.
I love smelling my own ass. This has been going on for absolutely years. I just love the smell of my ass. Putting my fingers there and just sniffing it and it’s a nice smell. I don’t do it all day at work, but when I get home it’s the first thing I do. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m a no-limit prostitute. Throughout my “career”, I’ve had threesomes with client’s families, jerked off a horse, and become a temporary enemy of the state.
I had sex with my cousin last night. there has been some somewhat obvious chemistry of the years. We’re in our late 20’s and both single, both a little bit emotionally screwed up. I don’t know about other places, but here in the US, this is mostly frowned upon, I would guess.We rarely see each other, maybe 2x a year, and since early childhood, I spent about 10 years not seeing her at all. Last night over some drinks, one thing led to another…Now, in the cold, grey light of day, I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing. It was incredibly hot and very passionate. It may happen again sometime because it was good in the moment.
As a guy with little body hair, I get turned on when I rub my own smooth legs.
I’ve got a lot of secrets. Here’s a few of them:
When I was a little kid, I used to make my dog lick my clitoris. It felt good and I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, until I got older. I still did it up until seventh grade.
My cousin and I used to make out and touch each other in elementary school. There is absolutely no sexual attraction between us now, but occasionally I have sex dreams about him. I sometimes have sex dreams about my dad, also.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I love him with all my heart. He’s very against cheating and we would never EVER cheat on each other. He’s made it clear that he’d never date a cheater. If he ever found out that I cheated on my last boyfriend, our relationship would be over.
When I was 15 I kissed a horses penis in a pathetic attempt to appear sexy for its keeper.
We were visiting a farm in Louisiana, and this guy that worked on the farm was showing me the stables while my parents were talking to the owners. It was that horny time in a lady’s life, and I kept flirting with him. During the naughtier parts of the conversation I mentioned the horses cock and squatted down. He said something like, “Uh, yeah, it’s pretty big,” and somehow my awkward teenage brain thought it would be sexy of me to play with it, so I stroked it a couple of times and kissed it. The poor guy just stood there and watched in horror.
so there is this girl at my school she’s super gorgeous but I recently found out that she has a bf and ever since then I’ve been having dreams(not nightmares) where I murder the dude. And im worried about this because when I wake up I feel no remorse
Its pretty sick I know. I buy watermelons, cut holes in them, and f*ck them. Im ashamed and I think my girlfriend might find out
edit: i just like the way it feels
I have a crush on my history teacher. I don’t get it… He’s not young and hot, he’s 40 and balding… It’s been bothering me for almost a year now…I know It’s not normal, and I even have a boyfriend, but I still have a thing for this guy… I think there is some underlying reason Why I like him so much, but I can’t figure it out. I have no clue what to do…
I would pet-nap the animals, either from people’s backyards or just find strays. Take them out to the woods, and either torture them until they were dead or just slit their throat.
Once they were dead, I would dissect them and look at their insides. Sometimes, not regularly, I would have sex with the innards inside the carcass while they were still warm. Even though that was irregular, I would masturbate after making a fresh kill.
I’d say I did it around 30 times. Usually with strays, only did it with pets like 5 times. Usually small dogs, but once the full process on a golden retriever.
Throwaway for obvious reasons. I never have these urges anymore, and never, even back then would think about doing it to a person.
I’ve always had a fantasy of getting a hotel room and inviting strange men over to gang bang me. I want it so badly.
I used to sneak into my best friend’s younger sister and mother’s rooms and masturbate with their panties. (Never finishing in them.) Sometimes I would try on his mom’s thongs, his sister’s panties were too small.
I’ve had many cyber (and a few physical) relationships with ex-girlfriends who were at the time engaged, married, and/or pregnant.
One of my craziest fantasies has been to have sex with or have a threesome with my girlfriend’s uglier friend. The last few girl’s I’ve dated have all had uglier (than them), large breasted friends who have some hold on me.
While one of my coworkers told me about her failing marriage today, all I did was stare down her shirt and wish she’d show me her breasts.
There are probably more, I just can’t think of the juicy ones right now.
I (29m) have had between 70-100 partners from age 18 until now. I have spent 5 years in 3 different relationships. I was never once unfaithful. That means I’ve averaged, while single, between 1-1.5 new sexual partners a month.
The only girl I’ve told the whole truth to reacted fairly (she thought it was a big number, but not a big deal), but how on earth do I tell someone who has maybe only had 2-10 partners what a tremendous whore I am? Instead I have consistently lied to every girl (minus one) who I’ve ever dated when asked about my number.
I usually say, “I don’t really keep track, but I’d guess around 25.”
This makes me a shitty person.
I shoot meth once a week. 1/2 gram.
I put things into my ass when this happens and I cannot stop masturbating. Usually takes 20 hours to come. I used a pair of my boxers to shove two pillows in and I modified a grapefruit to resemble a vagina and heiney hole of which I lick…for 20 hours. There is a magic moment when your prostate reacts with your hard on and you come while licking a fake butt. Yes I like real butt.
For this I am willing to lose everything. I push it just a little bit more each time.
I’ve been told I may die from this 20 year habit but when it is available I cannot resist.
I’ve been in a few treatment centers and I don’t respond to it once I leave. I go to NA meetings but I always slip. I’m trying to re-up right now. I have a sponsor and call him almost daily.
I’m killing me.
I’ve noticed a lot of disabled people really annoy me. Its not because they’re disabled – not at all – but because it seems that a large proportion of disabled people are quite rude, obnoxious and entitled.
I mean ok, you’ve been dealt a bad hand in life – sometimes literally – but no need to be an asshole about it. Pull it out your ass.
Let me get this out of the way right now, I am in no way attracted to my girlfriends mother. I mean yeah she has pretty face and a nice shape but thinking about her in that capacity is kinda icky. I’ve never been attracted to her before, in fact this is the only time I’ve had something like this happen. It wasn’t anything hardcore just some heavy groping and kissing. Anyway I’m rambling and I’m just weirded out about this and just had to tell an impartial party.
I haven’t been able to find a job, I’m so scared of disappointing my dad that I told him I found a part time job in data entry when really i’ve been making my money off of selling premium accounts on file sharing websites to download pirated pornography and writing erotica for the amazon store.
I make about a 1000 a month but its very dangerous and could be shut down any day now
I wake up at 7:30, shower, put on kakis and a nice shirt and shoes and go somewhere they wont find me and just write or browse or game all day, then go home
I pee in my bathroom sink. But I’m clean about it, and I never pee in the sinks of others.
When I do it, I run my hand under the water so the water spreads all over the inside of the bowl, and use my other hand to aim into the drain itself. When I’m done, I make sure water runs long enough to wash it all out of the pipes. Then I use some water to rinse off my goods.
It all started a few years ago when I was running to the bathroom and didn’t make it and went for the kitchen sink. It was the best piss I ever had. Being able to pee into something that was waist level, as well as not really needing to aim, being able to push myself into the side of the sink in relief, and even using a splash of water to wash off my cash and prizes was a religious experience.
I just lost 60% of my family’s money. I’m in shock. It was on a stock called ziopharm (ziop). Didn’t expect them to release results so early, planned on selling out before they did. It wasn’t greed about holding through results I just didn’t think they would release so early. This is money I can afford to lose but it hurts. My wife knows about my trading but what do I tell her? Tell myself?
I really don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s because I’m used to masturbating. Maybe it’s Death Grip Syndrome, which makes me super hard to get off. Either way, every girl I’ve fooled around with would try and try and try. I’d always get close, but never enough to tip me over the edge and cum.
I’ve been single now a couple of years and this issue has been the root of all of my NoFap attempts. My main goal has been to go 2 or 3 weeks without so much as touching my genitals, and then using only fleshlights to masturbate, without porn, to ward off the DGS.
I was sexually abused and now I’m a nympho. My first memory was of being abused by a drug dealer. I was being babysat by my grandma, and when she left me in the care of my aunt, she offered her drug dealer me to pay for some drugs. She watched while he licked me and penetrated me (I’m a boy) and I enjoyed it for the most part. I never told anyone this story, and generally went forward with my life. The worst part of it is, is that now I am begining to exhibit strange sexual desires, accepting to anyone and anything. It doesn’t matter what age, race, gender, or body type they have, I would have sex with them.
I don’t want to be a father anymore.
24M divorced with 4.5yo son.
Almost 6 years with the ex. Lots of fighting and a generally shitty relationship. Went on for too long, trying to “stay together for the kid”. We broke up last October and continued to live together until March this year when I called the cops and evicted her.
Now that I’m single (and a dad), I just want to sign away my parental rights. I resent my ex for still being able to get laid and find a new LTR while I’ve had less-than-stellar results (one crazy who I dated for a couple months that ended up wedging herself between me and my son/my ex/my family). I want to selfishly just say “fuck it”, let her take over as sole provider of my son and be able to do the things I want to do (ie. meet women my age without being red-flagged immediately on account of my single parenthood).
I’m struggling with alcoholism, guilt of kicking out my ex, debt we incurred together, the apartment we got together that I still live in but can no longer afford, and unable to meet someone new (whom I know I will be infinitely happier with than my ex but who I can’t since I feel like I’m forever marked as undatable).
I’m reminded by my friends and family that I have my son ‘there for me’ and I’m lucky since I have a good job/career prospects…But it doesn’t help me sleep at night, since I constantly obsess about being alone and single. Maybe I’m just a selfish prick. Maybe my son would be better off without me.