1. You realize you either hate your major, or can’t do anything with it
I mean, let’s face it, majoring in zoology seemed pretty cool, until you realized being a zookeeper meant cleaning up elephant shit everyday for less pay than a teacher.
2. You’re too poor to go to bars with expensive drinks, but you’re too old to go to college bars with cheap drinks
This is why pregaming doesn’t really end until you’re at least 30.
3. Everyone assumes you’re really immature if you participate in anything that involves you getting ridiculously shit faced
As if graduating meant you learned how to deal with your problems without alcohol.
4. The number of men that are available to you after graduating is like living in the economy with Bill Clinton as president and then fast forwarding to our current situation
5. You’re living paycheck to paycheck in the city your college was in
That or getting paid decently in some random city where you found a job, or you’re living at home with your parents because you’re totally fucking clueless with your life goals right now.
6. You have no friends. Either they graduated and moved, got married, accidentally had a kid, or dropped out and moved
7. Your parents
They are now using ‘You’re [insert age] years old now”, “You’re a college graduate”, or “Didn’t college teach you anything?” as valid excuses for pretty much anything from financially cutting you off to kicking you out of the house.
8. Everyone wants to know what you’re doing with your life now
No answer is good enough. Grad school? (Where? For what? Specialization?) Taking a year off? (What are you gonna do for a whole year? What about after that year? You really have no idea?) – No, I don’t have a fucking idea, now shut the hell up.
9. All of your friends have their shit way more together than you
You feel like a cookie crumbling in a glass of milk, while your friends look like they just popped out of the oven.
10. That one word