As a woman in my 20s, I have come to mourn the prospects currently available to me. While I do not need a return to the chivalry of the 1950s (because I certainly have no intention of being Betty Draper), I don’t think there is anything quite wrong with a potential return of “the gentleman.” It’s really not that hard. In this open letter please let me offer a few suggestions, so that the next time I’m out in public I don’t feel the need to stab myself in the jugular while I wait behind you in line.
1. Wear real clothes. Men don’t go to work in a hoodie or jeans. In fact, hoodie isn’t even registered as a word in Word. When you were chilling in the back of a lecture hall stalking your ex-girlfriend instead of listening to the professor, that was acceptable. We work now though, and whether or not you like it, the world, your potential employers and women will all assess you based on your appearance. When you wear clothing that is appropriate and respectable, you look like someone who actually has their shit together. That’s sexy.
2. Stop constantly swearing. Now, don’t think I’m saying that all you need to be a man is the ability to rock a charcoal grey three- piece suit. Sure, Don Draper looks like sex incarnate in his suit, but the guy’s a total ass (do you really need to cheat on your wives that much, Don? Let’s class it up). The way you speak is just as important as the way you look. When you look like Draper but swear like Chris Rock, there’s a massive disconnect that can’t be fixed. Not only does constantly swearing make you sound uneducated, it makes you sound like a pissed off frat boy who’s parents cut off his beer fund. Once you visually posses class, you need to sound like class too.
3. Wear a watch. Real men are on time. This includes being on time for work, for appointments and for dinner. I’m sure as hell not content with being made to wait. I’m your priority, and if you never keep me waiting, the love and attention will be equally reciprocated. Plus, employers notice this, and let’s be honest, a guy with a thick band watch is just sexy.
4. Find an intelligent, strong woman with class. We exist, but we have standards. So if you’re almost thirty and choose to spend your weekends at house parties with 23-year-old girls (notice the new verbiage), you are no better than them. Don’t complain about how stupid and immature girls are when you just keep looking for a woman at a sorority party. We’re not there.
Your partner is one of the biggest reflections of yourself that you project to the world; consequently, if you want to be perceived as an adult man who knows who he is, possess self-confidence and maturity, find a woman who has the same.
5. Grow up and get out. Men-Children, any woman with even a paramecium’s scope of intelligence is not going to go out with a 28-year-old who still lives at home. The only exception to this is still being in school – which means you’re becoming a doctor, a PhD candidate or maybe a lawyer. You shouldn’t STILL be in school by 28 just because you don’t want to grow up. You might drive a great car, have a great job and as a bonus be attractive and funny, but if your mom still washes your underwear we’re out. And no, you are not the exception to the rule in this case. Get over it.
Is this easier said than done? Absolutely, but to all the dear men-children of my generation, we as women are graduating at higher rates than you, pursuing more avenues of education and generally don’t need you anymore. We want you, however, but for us women who are worth having, you gentlemen better be worth our time.
An intelligent, confident and classy woman in her 20s.