1. Correctly guessing a password on an account that you haven’t used in a long time. Hell yeah, I know myself so well.
2. Getting an eyelash/unknown substance out of your eye. Best. Feeling. Ever.
3. Wearing your boyfriend’s clothes. Especially sweatshirts.
4. Using your toes to pick things up because you’re too lazy to bend down. Human — or monkey?
5. Dropping your phone and then realizing it’s totally fine — no scratches or shatters. Cases are for wimps.
6. Seeing a license plate from your state when you’re in a totally different state. FRIEND. FAMILY. I SEE YOU.
7. When you order French fries and get an onion ring in there. Might as well be a diamond ring.
8. Finally getting to pee when you’ve been holding it in for an extreme amount of time. LIKE A BROKEN DAM.
9. When a baby won’t let you give them to someone else. That’s right. Your child loves ME more.
10. Waking up from a horrible nightmare and realizing it wasn’t real. Thank God; I still have all my teeth.
11. Getting the perfect bite of a salad. Chicken-lettuce-dressing-veggie ratio on point.
12. Showering, shaving your legs, putting on a big shirt and getting in clean sheets. MY LEGS ARE DOLPHINS.
13. When you have the hiccups and they finally go away. 4 headstands and bursted lungs later.
14. Hitting all the green lights when you would otherwise be late. Thank you traffic gods.
15. Hitting all the red lights when you’re eating while driving. I can finish this whole burrito before I’m even home.
16. Perfectly cooking/flipping a pancake. I almost don’t want to eat it. Ha ha, just kidding, I will devour you.
17. The moment the sushi maker puts your sushi roll in front of you. Keep ‘em comin’.
18. Flushing the toilet in an airplane. My poop is now scattered all throughout the midwest.
19. When your microwave perfectly pops the popcorn. So fluffy I’m gonna die.
20. When you arrive at your destination just as the song comes to an end. I feel like I have closure now, thank you radio.
21. Visiting home and taking the smell in. My house smells like vanilla and Chipotle almost 24/7.
22. Getting back into your warm, comfy bed after getting up for a midnight pee. So empty yet so complete.
23. When you’re babysitting and the parents walk in the door. Give me money and let me go home and be childless.
24. Fitting everything into the dishwasher. Tetris: College Edition.
25. Landing at your destination when it’s about to be an amazing trip. Feel the humidity and take the free piña colada.
26. When you get a text/call from someone you were just thinking about. I’m definitely psychic.
27. When you listen to a song that perfectly applies to your life at the moment. Well, happy songs anyway. Resonating sad songs suck.
28. Finding money/candy/fun things that you forgot about. How long have these skittles been in my purse?
29. Making eye contact with or smiling at a stranger that also sees someone do something ridiculous in public. Did that guy just stick his hand in his butt crack?
30. Finding your name on a souvenir when your name is not very common. NOT EVERYONE IS NAMED JOHN OR EMILY.
31. The inside piece of a cinnamon roll. On Christmas morning. In pajamas. Before opening presents. NOSTALGIA.
32. Jumping in a pool and then laying on the hot concrete to get warm. Ahhhh. Skin cancer.