Well — excuse me, but hahaha — that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Girls: I’m sorry for exposing our truths to the world, but it needs to be done.
Guys: You might not want to read this if you have a girl in your life that you view as perfect. That perfection is about to be seriously compromised.
1. All girls poop.
Let’s start out with the obvious: EVERYBODY POOPS. Considering females fall under the category of “everybody,” this constitutes that we — yes, we — poop. Duh. And we like it.
*Checks stomach in mirror to see how much flatter it got*
2. Girls hate shaving too.
If we’re wearing pants we probably didn’t shave last night. Or the night before. But most likely all of last week. Too lazy to shave our armpits? Shirt with sleeves it is. No Shave November? Me too.
3. We pick our noses too.
And regularly, I might add. Lots of times it’ll happen while driving. If I have a booger and no tissues, I’m not going to wait until I can find a tissue — that’s just weird.
4. We barely wash our bras.
We’ve worn the same bra for…an undetermined, yet very very long amount of time. And here’s our logic: I didn’t sweat today, so there’s no need to wear a different bra tomorrow. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. The limit does not exist.
5. Our periods bring out the DIY in us.
We’ve been forced to use rolled-up toilet paper upon discovering that our period just started. Extra gross points for those who go the whole day like this due to being busy/in class/working. Admit it — you’ve done it.
6. We pee in the shower.
Gross, or just another way to conserve water? You be the judge.
7. We bleed on our underwear.
There are just too many period-related truths about girls, and this particular one simply can’t be left out. We bleed on our underwear. A lot. And then we’ll rinse out our underwear in the sink. We will then leave said underwear in sink whilst going about our day. Then we forget underwear is in sink and subsequently horrify a visitor that goes to wash their hands. Typically we don’t learn our lesson, and this will happen about seven more times.
8. We go extended periods of time without washing our hair.
Our hygiene is questionable at times. We can go four days without washing hair and validate it by using dry shampoo. No time to shower? Wash off armpits and apply a thick layer of perfume all over body. No time to wash face? Too LAZY to wash face? No problem! Re-apply new makeup OVER yesterday’s crusty makeup.
9. We go commando.
Okay, not ALL girls do this, and certainly not all of the time. Sometimes it’s an accident and you have to roll with it, and sometimes it’s completely voluntary. My current situation describes the latter.
In conclusion: come get us boys; we’re all yours.