Wake Me Up Like You Used To

By

You left me hanging. I was completely worn to shreds. Going on days without seeing you or even talking to you. It made me crazy. I was a total mess. I was a chaos. But I respected that. I respected your decision because I knew you needed that space.

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was to look at my phone.

“I miss you.” from the guy who shut me out about a month ago.

I screamed.

I cried.

I died a little inside.

“Babe???” was all I could reply at the moment. In less than a minute, you answered back.

“Hey. I miss you.”

I wanted to tell you how shitty my month has been or how horrible my life was for the one month you weren’t there. I wanted to yell at you for never telling me the reason. I wanted to call you but I was terrified of what you could possibly tell me. This means something. I know it does.

Rather, I chose to stay calm. I chose to just start a still conversation with you. Just to keep it going.

“Babe. I miss you so much. How are you?”

I waited until you can finally send your message. It has been weeks and I never heard from you again. God, I should have bombarded you with messages that morning! I should have called you, screamed at you, and told you all the things that have happened a month ago. When you weren’t there. When you were gone. When you left me. But I didn’t because I wanted you to be the one to tell me. I want you to be frank with me. The hell, you didn’t. You didn’t drop me another bomb. You just pulled the trigger but you didn’t shoot me. Thank God, you didn’t.

Even so, I want to let you know that in some way, it made me think that we still got a chance. I’m still hanging onto that possibility; how little may that be.

Let me wake up in the morning with a familiar tone. Wake me up once again. Wake me up even with just a phrase. A sentence might be better. I don’t care if it’s 3 AM or 11PM, just wake me up just like you used to.