During the first quarter of this year, I received questions like, “How can you move on so fast?” and “How do you manage to be that strong?” I always give them one answer: I chose to be this way. And yes, life is always a matter of the choices that we make.
This year has been an avalanche of emotions for me, but that didn’t stop from living my life the way I want it to be. I had my shares of breakdowns, darkness and depression. I had a bunch of sleepless and drunken nights. I have cried buckets of tears. Then one morning, I woke up realizing that I should lift myself up and take the high road. For that, I chose to focus on the goodness that this world brings.
This year might not have been my best one, but I learned a lot. I figured out how to be brave in facing my own demons. I learned that even the person who promises to stay might eventually leave you high and dry. I knew how to embrace the pain until it willingly went away, slowly but surely. I learned how to look at a person’s fears and anxieties without judging them. I figured out how to appreciate everything that this life has bestowed upon me. I learned how to find happiness in all ways, always.
This year opened my eyes to the kind of love that I truly deserve. I deserve to be with someone who sees me. Someone who sees the depths of my soul. Someone who sees the universe within me. I deserve a love that is good for my health — mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I deserve someone who recognizes my past, my flaws and my weaknesses. Someone who will still adore every part of me. I deserve the kind of love with kept promises. A love that constantly gives reassurance. I deserve someone who will never leave, no matter how hard it gets. Someone who will know how to love in all terms and conditions. I deserve to find my forever person, the answer to all the whys and the one who always feels right.
This year made me realize that my worth is not dependent on another person. It is defined by how much I love myself. I can see it in the people people who truly care never gave up on me. It is hidden within the smiles of everyone who values my existence. I found it by having lots of me time and holding the essence of solitude within my heart. I define it by all those days that I chose to treat myself with a sumptuous meal. I see it in the beauty within every inch of myself. Self-love is not being a narcissist. It is significant. It is what every human being needs.
This year taught me that I should not settle within my comfort zone. The adventurous side of me has been unleashed. The whole world is truly waiting to be seen, to be felt and to be discovered. This is not the time to be comfortable. This is the perfect opportunity to go for the extremes and to seize every single day. This is the chance to cross out something on my list of firsts. This is the moment to take a step outside and travel around the wilderness. Having this urge inside me, I also realized that there’s always a chance to be a better version of who I am. All these experiences, old and new, leaves a remarkable spot inside me and contributes to the kind of person I am today.
This year, I learned how to complain less and to listen more. With the heartbreaks I’ve been through, I know what it feels like to have no one who really understands you. I know how hard it is to explain your point when no one seems to care enough. I know how to fight for something that will suddenly leave you hanging. Despite of all the hurt, I converted bitterness into something useful. I am now a listener for everyone who needs someone. I take time to send messages to people with a heavy heart. I take time to assure my loved ones that I will always be here for them. I take time to hear their stories and opinions. For this, I learned to see the kindness within each person.
This year led me to my main goal — to be genuinely happy. This year is all about moving forward. All about choosing optimism in all situations. All about seeing the good in everyone and everything. All about pursuing my dreams and looking into the future with enthusiasm. All about keeping the positive cells moving in my system. This year has been tough, but I realized that I am tougher. I am the light in the dark. I can keep on shining not just myself, but for others too.
Therefore, I can confidently say that I am ready for whatever the next year brings.