You lasted as long as you did because I have trouble giving up.
I normally see the worst in people. With you it was different, I chose to see the best. Constantly, I chose to see the good, which is funny because the good was hardly there.
It was a manipulation, you showed up when you knew you had to. You said what you needed to say, did what you needed to do, but only the minimum. Always only the minimum. You learned just enough about me to know what I needed to believe in you, to know what I needed to hear.
And I fell for it all, for the first time in a long time I decided to trust someone besides myself.
And all I was believing were lies.
You lied when you said I was important, when you said you cared, when you said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, when you said you couldn’t live without me.
But if I was important to you, you would have showed me. If you cared about me, you would have been there for me. If you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, you would have fought for me. If you couldn’t live without me, you would have done anything to save us.
I said you were important, and I showed you every day.
I said that I cared, and I cared so much I nearly destroyed myself.
I said that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I lied.
When I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you I didn’t realize I was talking to a liar.I thought I was saying these words to someone who I could trust, when it turns out I was saying these words to someone who never existed.
I built you up in my mind. I created you out of the things you said on a whim that I took to heart.
I opened up to you and you left me alone.
Maybe you thought you could string me along, ignoring me and using me for attention when it was convenient for you.
But what you didn’t count on was how strong I am. You didn’t count on me knowing how to walk away when there was nothing left for me. You didn’t count on the fact that I would realize you weren’t enough for me.
You didn’t count on me realizing that no matter how much I wanted you, you didn’t deserve me.
Walking away from you may have been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I don’t regret it because you’re a liar.
And I don’t have time to care about people who use me at their convenience.
I said I couldn’t live without you, and I lied.