They say that our lives are a sum total of our choices – the food we eat, the clothes we wear, our friends, our taste in music, even the people we choose to spend the rest of our lives with.
I believe that choice is more powerful than destiny or fate. There could be someone meant for us out there and we could choose not to be with them.
Like how you didn’t choose me.
When I first met you, there were literal fireworks and sappy music. I was nervous as hell when I first saw you – we’ve always made vague plans but now it was real.
Now, we were going to go through the motions of modern dating. But I digress, it’s just the first date – it’s not yet dating. Maybe I’d end up hating everything about you, maybe your mannerisms would end up annoying the hell out of me. Maybe I’d find your judgmental nature appalling — but I didn’t.
The connection was so real and electrifying that I could feel it in the air. It felt otherworldly — I mean, you found me weird and I found you corny but somehow it worked. Somehow I felt deep down that this could be the start of something beautiful.
You were a gentleman and you shyly brought up the prospect of a second date. And the rest is history. Fast forward a few months later, we were happy.
Happy and non-exclusive.
Some would say those were dark days, but I never saw it that way. With the connection that we had, I was pretty sure that we’d be official soon. My friends warned me but I didn’t listen. I was pretty sure they just didn’t understand how I felt.
I was pretty optimistic back then.
But not anymore.
One fine summer day, you decided to leave. No goodbyes, no nothing.
I wasn’t even surprised. I knew that you wanted to go, that you wanted to get rid of me, but I stayed anyway because I cared for you. I thought I was in love with you. (I actually wasn’t, but still.) But you chose to be alone. And that’s what you are now — alone and miserable.
So even if I could’ve loved you forever, even if I became your biggest cheerleader, even if I could’ve been the one for you, you chose to break my heart.
How many people would’ve been good for us, would’ve possibly been the one meant for us whom we chose to ignore? Five? A dozen?
Life is all about choices especially when it comes to love. If the person we want to be with didn’t choose us, then there’s nothing we can do. We can put up a desperate lover act but how long will that last? We can’t force people to care the way we do and that’s one of the tragedies of living.
Maybe one day we end up choosing someone and they end up choosing us too and it would be beautiful. But for now, we need to take it a day at a time.
If someone chooses to be with you and to spend time with you, don’t let it go to waste. Feelings and moments like that can be fleeting. Appreciate them and don’t be so quick to dismiss people, who knows they might be what you’re looking for.