Anxiety Is Her Superpower

Khosit Sakul-Kaew / Unsplash

Anxiety is her superpower.

The very thing that made her weep and cry out in pain was also the very thing that made her the strongest, most powerful woman she could ever have imagined herself to be.

She longed to learn about every part of her being during this soul filled adventure called life.

Her destiny devoted to finding true meaning and self-love. Anxiety determined to be the teacher.

Unravelling her to the core of her existence.

Sending her uncontrollable events that challenged her to truly connect with her deeper and more authentic self.

Turned on through the wake of rejection and heartache. When she was undervalued or taken for granted by others. When her sensitivities were electrified and her body turned restless and weak.

Healing these wounds would be tiring and lonely.

Reminding her to slow down and step away from the crowded noise of the world around her. To live differently to the masses and tune into the deep musings of her awakened soul.

She knew she was the only one that could ever truly make it through when the darkness set it.

When she could see no light. When the shadows consumed her.

Strength knocking furiously on the door.

Her greatest challenge would be to surrender and let go. Breath out the agony.

Sometimes it was just easier to hold on to the pain; as every emotion consumed and preyed on her anxious mind and body.

Her darkest enemy became at times a familiar friend she sat comfortably with for a while.

Resilience kept up the fight. Holding on even when she knew how much she needed to let go.

In her own way, in her own time, she would cut the cord.

Fear, worry, rejection, pain. All designed and programmed for her to release and surrender.

Anxiety with all its purpose knew her soul craved to come home to who she was.

A young girl deeply afraid of the future. Scared that she wouldn’t be able to have the things she longed for so much.

That was the meaning of it all.

An unfathomable and debilitating fear of the future. A fear that sent her spiraling out of the present moment, into a fantasy world that looked as real as it does today.

Seeing with her own eyes how the darkest of moments were all entangled with rare blessings.

Always believing in more than what we are, believing we have better roads to travel, believing life is going to be ok, even when our hearts are heavy.

Soon she arrived at the aftermath of panic, seeking the safety net of calmer days.

Watching her mind and all its raging thoughts of unworthiness slowly land back on their feet.

She had made it through once again.

It wouldn’t be the last time she walked this anxious path, but alone she would travel often, and each time she would gently be guided back home to herself.

Where she always belonged. TC mark

Anna-Nicole is a writer, dream chaser and lover of beautiful things.

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