Ahhh, singledom at 27.
It’s a torturous game that I’ve played since I was 24 and I have no idea if I’m winning or losing. Before you just peg me as crazy, at least hear my out of the millions of reasons that dating in your late 20s during 2017 is like trying to explain what a hashtag is to my parents, it’s confusing, frustrating, and I’m not even sure I understand it.
Here I am, sad and grieving the end of yet another failed relationship. Staring at a stupid coffee mug he brought back, signaling to me he was going to tell me exactly what I knew from the beginning but refused to believe. “I just don’t want commitment”. Why, why, why is this a trend now.
I tried not to get attached, over six months of laughing and late nights, silly dates, forehead kisses, and dancing in the kitchen while taking tequila shots. Maybe I just wasn’t the one for him, trust me I am as flawed as they come. My big mouth and poor ability to think before I speak makes me a real treat to date I’m sure, but I felt like I foolishly fell in love with a man I had to convince I was good enough for.
I thought I was cool with being that girl, being the girl who “didn’t care about where this was going” but this healthy dose of heartbreak has taught me a valuable lesson- don’t hold back. The right man won’t care. I knew I loved him at 10AM on a Sunday while we were getting bagels, but didn’t tell him because I knew he’d run. I won’t be the girl who is afraid to say those words, not again.
If I have to practice the art of dating until I meet someone who sings from the mountaintops that I am his, then so be it. I won’t let it scare me, and I won’t settle.
Resiliency in love is not easy to come by, but it makes us better, and it makes us stronger, able to stand up for what we want, say it out loud, and believe that we don’t deserve anything less.
This “Situationship” has sailed.