I recently had a conversation with my also single and 27-year-old girlfriend that made me have a WTF moment.
My single, absolutely beyond brilliant friend who owns her own home, has an incredible career, is a social sport superstar, and is an overall amazing person was telling me how birthdays in your late twenties suck.
You know why? Because if you’re not achieving life goals with a significant other at this point, nobody gives a shit. I realized she was totally right.
I’m not a cynic (ha-ha ok yes, I am, a little bit). I do love marriage, and I’m still the same person that I was at 14 flipping through bridal magazines with fantasies in my head of a groom and gown.
I’m also not devastated that my life isn’t on the same timeline as everyone else’s, but the people around me sometimes are.
I’m sorry, dating in today’s world is just a ridiculous game. The men who are looking for commitment at my age are already married and the rest probably won’t be ready until age 35.
I have been on all the apps — Tinder, and Bumble, and something about coffee and bagels, cupid’s ok or something, IDK.
I’ve gone on enough first dates to write a book and I have some great stories. I’ve met awesome people and I’ve learned so much valuable information about myself that I wouldn’t trade those dates for anything.
But hey guess what, those dates didn’t work out and I’m still barely scraping my rent together, working full time while going to an unpaid internship, and taking classes to get my master’s degree. I work my tush off, mostly so I can afford shower presents, bachelorette parties, and cute dresses to wear to all these nuptial shindigs.
You know what though? I LOVE IT! I love my friends, and I’m about as extroverted as they come so parties and weddings are my jam, but no one wants to talk to me about how I’m doing trauma work in a residential home for juveniles, or pretty much anything other than my love life.
My friend also brought up how her and her family got into a debate about Christmas presents. For her married siblings, it was a burden to celebrate so many Christmases and buy thoughtful presents for everyone on both sides, but hey – for us single gals, buying and receiving gifts for family and friends in kind of what makes the holidays go ‘round. Why don’t we deserve that just because we don’t also have in-laws to shop for?
No, maybe I’m not inviting you to a bridal shower with mimosas but are you so busy with your own life that you can’t come do a few tequila shots with me for my 27th birthday?
Like seriously, bring your fiancé/husband, even your baby, because I just want to HAVE SOME FUN and celebrate the good going on in my life.
I’m not a love hater, I LOVE love and I still want to have it someday. I just think it’s ridiculous that I’ve entered some era of my life that requires me to find “the one.”
That’s probably why I haven’t had a serious relationship in over three years. I did the “let’s act like we’re married at 19 and still in college” act and it didn’t turn out so great for me.
And right now, I’ve been seeing a guy who is one of the best human beings I’ve ever spent time with (and also one of the most handsome). Instead of stressing over if he’s the one that’ll finally give me the status of “important enough to pay attention to because I’m no longer single” I just want to enjoy him.
I just want to enjoy my life without the spectators waiting for my metaphorical other half to join the party.
At 27, single, and still occasionally drinking too much and tearing up the dance floor, I’m a whole human being – no ring required.