I am writing you this letter to say goodbye. I am ready to move on and to meet someone that won’t treat me the way you did. Some people say that it’s been too long and that you need to be forgotten but to be honest with you I just couldn’t… until now.
We met on a summer’s evening and sparks flew. It started passionately and it ended oh so swiftly. As I look back at old memories, it becomes more and more apparent that it had the possibility of going horribly wrong or incredibly well. It was all fun and games until I fell for you and I mean really fell for you.
I was enchanted to meet you. I only had the feeling of being wonderstruck with one other person before I met you. I wanted to be loved by you, in every possible way. Instead, I was played, manipulated and used. I told you I didn’t want to be just another girl in your little parade of girls, but you made me feel worthless and unwanted.
We were ‘together’ for 6 months and you never took my feelings into consideration. Your slogan was ‘this is not a relationship’ and it hurt to know that you never saw me as more than just a fling.
It’s been two years and until now, I always asked, “why am I not good enough for you”? To be honest with you, being with you traumatized me and it took me a long time to rebuild my trust in other people.
Because of you, I assume every potential partner that enters my life will treat me the same and as a hopeless romantic, I don’t want to constantly be living in fear of falling in love.
Looking back now I would have done so many things differently but I learnt that the people that come into your life are either a blessing or a lesson… I now know that you are definitely a lesson.
In June of last year, I wrote you a letter but never told you how I felt….
I have so much to tell you and I wish I had the guts to say it to your face but I don’t. In 10 days, It’ll be six months that you and I are ‘seeing’ each other and I’ll tell you, this has been quite the ride. Although I enjoy it, I am more than ready to get off it. Why?
You don’t fight for me. You only see me once or twice a week. We only see each other to have sex. You never have deep conversations with me. You don’t want to commit. You treat me like shit. You don’t care about what I want or my feelings. You use me. You don’t treat me the way I should be treated.
I’m sorry if it sounds negative and you do really good things but it’s so hard to think of them right now. Here’s the truth: You broke me and it hurts because you made me fall in love with you in the process. I told you from the beginning that I get attached too easily and you took advantage of that.
You look like an angel when you need to but you’re behavior is the opposite. If you apologized, changed your behavior and was willing to commit than we could work it out… but you can’t. I know that you won’t change for me.
I’m going to cut contact and wait for you to make the first move and to miss me. I’m going to live my life and try to find my old self again. The one that I lose in the process of falling in love with you.
When I feel alone and lonely, I won’t be thinking of you. I wish you the very best in life and I hope that you won’t treat another girl the same way you treated me. I hope you treat her the way she deserves.
As a wise person has said… I lost you but I found myself and somewhat that was everything.