The Things I Left Behind

One 16 oz. jar of butternut squash pasta sauce, because you promised we’d start cooking more. See also: one package of fresh, handmade pasta, probably moldy by now.

Three wire hangers (one bent). You don’t deserve the plastic ones.

One James Patterson thriller, originally stolen from work. If you think that I actually want this back, then it’s just more proof we shouldn’t be together.

Two small silver keys, that I was once so excited to have.

One month’s supply of birth control — wait, seriously? Shit.

One mini-fridge, borrowed from my dad after he heard how disgusting your fridge is. There was no way I could have lifted it down the stairs (I got my stuff alone, working quickly before you got home), so have fun dealing with that when you move out.

The ability to listen to Bloc Party without dissolving into tears.

Two empty Tupperware containers, previously containing 12 almond-cranberry cookies I made because my grandma always taught me that baking is like love. I took the cookies.

One Post-It note, attached to the Tupperware. Ten words, including two mentions of “love” and one “baby”, and a sketch of two hearts – I’d rather not be reminded.

One pair black socks, fallen behind the bed. I knew they were back there, I just didn’t want to lay on our bed again to have to get them.

One iPhone charger, also behind the bed. I’m actually regretting leaving that one – you owe me $30.

Fourteen months of my life.

Two bottles imported Belgian beer. I’ll tell you that it’s fine, that you can just keep them because they were a gift, but really it’s just because I couldn’t fit them in my duffel bag.

One bouquet of yellow flowers, now wilted and rotting on your desk; a reminder of how quickly things fell apart.

One striped sweater, size small. Another gift that I just can’t look at anymore.

Ten photographs of me, ranging from cutely inappropriate to definitely NSFW. I couldn’t find (and destroy) them, but I hope you’ll do that instead of posting them online. Please.

One pair red silk panties, with matching lace bra, originally worn in photographs (see above). Left behind partly to remind you of what you’ll be missing, and partly because I can’t stand the idea of wearing that again for anyone else.

That warm, fuzzy feeling I used to get when I saw other couples in public holding hands or kissing and knew how they felt and how happy they must be — now I just want to throw things.

One table lamp with adjustable neck. From all the nights you were working late and I stayed up reading, waiting for you.

One freestanding heater, with remote, because I remember how cold our bed could get on those nights. TC mark

image – Shutterstock

Related

More From Thought Catalog

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=507159106 Nikki McGillicuddy

    There’s a feeling I get when reading about hipster love that get’s me every time.

  • jem

    shit. this is sad. I’m sorry :(

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1147860061 Brandon Buchanan

    wait… I love James Patterson novels.

  • Ksajflkasd

    “I knew they were back there, I just didn’t want to lay on our bed again to have to get them.” 

  • Anonymous

    “That warm, fuzzy feeling I used to get when I saw other couples in
    public holding hands or kissing and knew how they felt and how happy
    they must be — now I just want to throw things.”

    YES.

  • Sophia

    I hate how much I relate to this. Hate it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VYDVROKY4PUBOKUHB3QF42FH2Y Paul S

    Ugh, this was depressing. “Better to have loved and lost” may ass!

  • http://newhandsweepstakes.com/contributors/brian-mcelmurry/ Brian M

    wonder if there was a reconciliation? nice piece

    • Anna Brozolo

      The only contact after this was when he emailed me to ask if I wanted my Patterson novel back, and to say “Thanks for cleaning.” So no, no reconciliation

      • http://newhandsweepstakes.com/contributors/brian-mcelmurry/ Brian M

        Damn. I liked this a lot :-)

  • Jackie Melecio

    omg reminded me of a diary entry i wrote down about 2 years ago 

  • mandy

    I love this. Beautiful.

  • ex boyfriend

    thanks for leaving all those thing…, i sold most of them, the rest i gave to my new girlfriend.

    • yt

      not funny man…

  • beatrice

    i’m sorry

  • http://twitter.com/yvonne1503 yvonne

    I think you also left behind some part of yourself with him… Damned break-ups.

  • Deda

    Loved this. …Nodded along to every line, especially the “warm fuzzy feelings…now I want to throw things” and “the not wanting to lay on the bed”.   My bed was ‘our’ bed, so I think that every single night!

  • riz

    wow. the last two- eerily accurate.

  • Em

    I love how lists can be so revealing. Beautiful article!

  • AnnaBananaRama

    I remember listening to Bloc Party’s “Plans” when my boyfriend and I broke up. It brought me to a level greater than sadness. Which Bloc Party songs did you like?

  • http://kumquatparadise.tumblr.com aaron nicholas

    :(

blog comments powered by Disqus