I Know I’m Flawed, But I’m Trying To Be Better For You

Would it be too much of me to ask for you to stay?

I know it gets rough sometimes; I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not always the most lovable person. I have moments in which I get too unreasonable, too childish. I’ve been with you long enough to know what ticks you off and I’m sorry if I hold this knowledge against you.

I’m aware that you could list down all my faults and flaws in a single breath if someone asked you to. Sometimes, i think that you could even see them better than I could.

Now I’m not trying to put myself in bad light here, just hear me out on this one, okay?

You told me once that I am selfish beyond reason. I think about myself first, narcissistic enough to believe that I am always right. And how many times have I been a brat to you? Making you do things you don’t want to do. Even my impatience brings all sorts of drama — making us fight over such trivial things over and over again. All these are wrong and I’m wrong — please don’t ever tire.

You and I both know that there are thousands more, but if I count all these errors of mine, I might actually persuade you to just walk out the door and never glance back. But in all honesty, I’m trying my best every day to make you do otherwise.

See, I understand that there’s not much I can offer. That out of a hundred, I’m probably the worst option to choose. But I want you to grasp the thought that when I look at you, I see all the good things. Can you comprehend how hard it is to love something greater than yourself?

The best thing that I could ever give to you is a promise to try to be a better version of myself — always hoping that that would be enough.

And so, with all these nonsensical words, I would like to ask you again, would it be too much of me to ask you to stay? But no, not just for today or for the year but for this lifetime and all the other reincarnations to come.

It is a dream of mine to always wake up next to you.