1. It ought to be pretty clear already that the sentence “You can’t have it all” doesn’t go down very well with us.
2. Multi tasking is second nature. We can web surf for your mother’s birthday present while preparing a power point or the next pitch and form the grocery list in our heads , all at once.
3. Just because we love our work doesn’t mean you or anything else will always come second. We place equal importance on everything that matters to us — friends, family, pets, hobbies, and the whole gamut basically.
4. It makes us really happy when you take a genuine interest in things other than our face or body. It could be our careers or the short baking class we might have just taken up on a whim.
5. Be proud of our achievements, rather than belittled by them. If you’re already feeling that pinch of insecurity or the scale of our ambition leaves you a little unsettled, it’s your cue to exit.
6. Harbouring a deep seated belief that complacency breeds stagnation, we are always in the quest for learning something more — whether it’s another language, a third degree, the guitar or just how to change the tires of the car.
7. It’s perfectly alright if you want to do few things on your own. You don’t have to give up everything you did before meeting us because we certainly aren’t going to do the same.
8. We are all looking at being with someone who’ll help and encourage us to grow. In the eventuality that we do walk down the aisle, do not curb our individuality. We are still growing; we’re a work in progress and we didn’t get married just to have a full stop put to it.
9. Speaking of aisles and vows, if you like the bold, ambitious, go-getter girlfriend but want a wife in Stepford mould, don’t think we are going to morph into the latter once we’re married. You’ll only be setting yourself up for disappointment.
10. If it’s going to work, it has to be a relationship of equals. That doesn’t mean we keep a strict count on how many times each of us is taking out the trash — it just means that both of us will have to compromise on some things or maybe a little on everything. But expecting us to sacrifice anything entirely — whether it is our careers, hobbies, friends or educational goals — is not optional.
11. Holding the view that ‘having it all’ pertains to just the work life balance for every woman is pretty myopic. The term means different things to different women. Some of us might want our career and desire a family, some might eschew one for the other and some might set aside both to pursue another calling.
12. Don’t make small of our goals in front of other people and the offer a half apology later. (I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve seen this happen!)
13. Paying attention to everything in our lives is supremely satisfying but also extremely exhausting. If this is going to be your equivalent of a summer fling, we aren’t interested.
14. Long distance is tough, not undoable.
15. In time you will come to understand that ‘having it all’ soon turns into ‘the need to have it all.’ It’s not just our ambition, it’s also an economic reality.