I wish growing up someone had also taught me, along with every life lesson, that picking you and yours over everything else, at times, is a necessity. The distance between accommodating and being ridden roughshod is a rather small one and all too soon we let the demands, choices and expectations of others bridge that gap. Being amenable and compliant are laudable qualities but when they start to compromise you as a person in any way, it is self destruction.
It’s ok to say NO.
NO to the weekend plan that is sure to leave your friends a little deflated but you very content, even if it is spent stalking that b@$&h from high school on social media or binge watching FRIENDS for the zillionth time. You choosing to spend that one weekend by yourself is not going to be the deathblow to your friendship.
NO to the career plan your parents have charted out for you even though the path you have taken is considerably rockier, just as long as you have the perseverance to get there.
Ditto for the boy with a socially acceptable degree from a boast-worthy college and a six figure salary, in whose direction they keep pushing you.
NO to doing the house chores for the hundredth time only because your roommate has no issues living in squalid conditions. If they have no problem using a clean kitchen, bathroom and living room they should have no problem helping you clean either.
NO to lending anything to that very dear friend who is not familiar with the concept of ‘returning’, whether it be clothes or money
NO to the idea that your colleague wants to go ahead with even though you know it’s going to tank but are loathe to point out only to spare their feelings or because you do not want be perceived as the ‘uncooperative’ one.
NO to working the weekend, every weekend
NO to that partner who wants to hold you back because they fear that you will leave him/her way behind. Compromising on your life goals is not a solution to their insecurities.
Get in the habit of saying ‘NO’ sometimes and be generous to yourself instead!