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Let Go Of The Idea Of Being “This Kind Of Woman”

Nothing happens to you because of the way you look, the way you dress, or the way you are. Everything happens to you because someone chooses to do it to you. Always remember that.

The boy didn’t leave you because you were incapable of love or you had something missing. He left because he chose to. Do not blame yourself for the failure of a relationship, because it was not your fault. You are not the kind of woman who is unworthy of love. He was not ready to love you the way you deserved to be loved, and it is his loss.

You are not the kind of woman who needs someone to complete you, because you are whole on your own.

You did not fail on a first date because you didn’t sleep with him. You are not the type of woman who would only do what a man wants to keep him around. You are strong enough to believe in yourself and know your worth, and only the one worthy of you will stick around whether you choose to wait or not. A real man will respect your decisions and wait for when you are ready.

You are not a failure at love because you didn’t give in to the primal desires the first time.

If a boy doesn’t call or text you back after a few good dates, it is not because you are the type of woman who tries too hard. He was not ready to commit, and that has nothing to do with you. Maybe you are at different points in your lives. You are never the kind of woman that someone has fun with and toss around given how he feels. You are not this kind of woman who is there to validate the men and stroke their egos when needed.

You are much better.

If you have enjoyed a few many drinks and do not want to hold someone’s hand or kiss him, you are not this kind of woman who is leading him on. You have every right to do as much or as little as you wish. You have every right to walk away and make it stop when you want. If anything happens to you against your will, it is never because you are the kind of woman who was asking for it or deserved it. Nothing bad that ever happens to you is because of you, bad things happen because someone chooses to do it to you.

Never call yourself the kind of woman who has a loose character or bad morals because of how you dress, how you look, or who you are.

You must let go of the idea that you have to be the kind of woman who is a good girl to find someone. The only thing you have to try to be is to be a good person. Stop living up to other people’s expectations and standards of what a desirable woman is supposed to be like. You will only resent yourself in the end for not being who you really are.

Society will always try to pressure you to be a certain way, but in the end, you are the one living your life, so be the kind of woman you are happy being.

In the end, the only kind of woman you must try to be is one who is true to oneself. Let go of all the ideas of the kind of woman you need to be so you can find love or be successful. Be the kind of woman who has a kind heart and wants to be a good person. Be the kind of woman who continues to love despite what the world might have taught you or experiences you have had. Be the kind of woman who is happy with who you are and what you do everyday to make this world a better place.

Be the kind of woman who doesn’t hold on to hate or anger because there is too much of that in the world.

Let go of all the ideas and notions of what kind of woman you should be. Be the kind of woman you would want to be friends with. Be the kind of woman who is there for others and helps those in need. Be the kind of woman you would be proud to meet, because you have met her already.

Be this kind of woman. Be you.

About the author
I write about life & love Follow Anjana on Instagram or read more articles from Anjana on Thought Catalog.

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