You may find someone new; you may find someone who you like better. But remember that no one will ever love you better than her.
I still remember the first time she told me about you. I saw a sparkle in her eyes, I heard the nervousness in her voice she was worried I would not like you. I knew she really wanted me to. You were not like the other guys she had dated.
I saw how you changed her. She wanted to become a better person. She started to let go of her past vices. She wanted to take care of herself and you. She wanted to learn how to cook. She wanted to build a home; a happy little home with you.
You were good to her. I knew you loved her, but you always held back. She told me it was your family, I did not know until much later. She put her whole heart in for you, she was willing to give up everything for you, but you never went all in.
You told her, you loved her but not as much as she loved you. You told her what your father did to your mother. You told her you were scared you would do the same to her. As you started to break her, she bravely held on to the almost broken pieces of both of you.
She always put you before her. She put her happiness before yours.
She knew how painful your past was. She understood that what you had gone through was so unfair to you, but did you ever realize how unfair it was what you did to her? She gave you her heart, but you held on to yours. I am sorry for what you went through, but there is no excuse for what you did to her.
When her other friends said how ridiculous your needs were, she took your side. She always fought for you, she always defended you, but you never fought for her, the way she did. She loved you with all her heart and her soul. I saw you slowly crush her dreams like you had crushed your ambitions in life.
You made her feel the pain that no friend could stand to see. You made her cry, you made her pull away from everyone. I remember nights when she hid her tears behind a fake smile. I remember when she stayed in her room, reluctant to see anyone, go anywhere, or do anything.
We had lost her. She had stopped feeling. She had stopped caring.
As she struggles every day to come back to her old self and to her friend she still holds a light for you. I always knew if you came back to her she would gladly accept you over anyone else. As our friends judge her for her insecurities, all I can say is, everyone is different. I will never truly understand why she feels the way she does.
I will never understand why she loves you the way she does.
However, I have to respect her and her choices in life. Speaking my mind about how I feel about you will only push her away from me. She is not a stupid girl; she is smart enough to know what she is getting herself into. She is the only one who can make her life decisions. All I can do is be a good friend to her.
If I could ever tell you something, I would have a lot to say. I would tell you how lucky you were to have someone like her to love you. I would assume you already knew that. The sad part is you never learned to appreciate her. You could not see what you had in your life. I know that to be happy in any relationship you have to be grateful for who you have, you have to value who they are, and appreciate every minute of their presence. Most of us realize that after it is too late.
As I see her struggle to move on while still hoping that you will be back any day I do not know if you may have already moved on or you may have already met someone new. Nobody will compare to you for her. I just want you to remember that no one will love you better.