If I Could Go Back To 1982

two people walking on pedestrian lane
Henrique Félix / Unsplash

In 1982 I was 12 years old. It was a lifetime ago. If I could go back, there are so many things I would do differently.

First of all, I’d listen to myself. I’d know that voice inside my head was full of wisdom, and I’d listen to her. I would place top value on her opinion and not value the opinions of others no matter how outlandish her ideas seemed. Back then I had no idea just how wise she was, but now I do.

I’d listen to my soul and really pay attention to what made me shine. I’d do more of the things that made me feel good inside, no matter who told me  I could never make a living doing it.

I’d be kinder to more people, all people, but my circle would be much smaller. I’d spend more time with my dog instead of people I didn’t really even like.

I wouldn’t worry, not any at all. I’d live every single day in the moment and not give hardly and thought to the future.  It was all going to work out anyway. My worry had nothing to do with it except robbing me of joy I could have experienced that day. I’d plan less and live more spur of the moment, enjoying random adventures with people who might become lifelong best friends.

I’d be my own best friend and spend much more time with my Grandparents. I’d never stop creating either. I would tell the whole world what I was put on earth to do and roll with it, never looking back.

I wouldn’t spend one second looking for normalcy or trying to gain approval and acceptance because now I know that all of it is so overrated. I’d have been just fine never being accepted or approved of by other humans. I’d want to learn more things too, things I’ve always wanted to do. I’d scuba dive and learn to belly dance, make wooden bowls and weave. I’d collect sap to make maple syrup and I’d dig for clams, and drive a race car really fast, and go up in a hot air balloon. There’s a whole lot of stuff I would want to try.

I would own way less “stuff” and travel more places, trying new foods and experiencing new places on the planet with different music, customs, dancing.

I would also never allow myself to feel guilt or be responsible for other people’s happiness. It’s too great a burden. We are all responsible for ourselves, no one else.

I’d care less. I’d care way less about everything. I wouldn’t concern myself with most of the things I’ve let consume my mind in this life. If I’d known when I was twelve what I know now, I’d just not care about a whole lot, and I’d laugh way more. I wouldn’t spend time with anyone, animal or human, that didn’t make me laugh or feel wonderful inside.

What would you do differently if you could go back to the year you were twelve years old?

Since I can’t go back to 1982, I’ll start now. I could. I will. I’ll start today. Sit back and watch. 2019 will find me doing life like I should have been doing all along. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I am a writer as well as an artist specializing in intuitive painting.

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