I Forgive You (Even Though You Don’t Deserve It)

Timothy Paul Smith
Timothy Paul Smith

I forgive you, even if you didn’t apologize.
I feel as if I’ve lifted a huge baggage that I was carrying for so long. Something that has been holding me back from feeling good, from feeling happy, from feeling free.
It wasn’t easy. No.
It was the hardest thing I had to do.
Sometimes I remember the moments, the happy memories, times I’ve wasted with you.
And all the other times you were toxic.
Sometimes I take it all back.
I hate you all over again.
But hating you just won’t do anything for me.
It was just taking up all the energy I had in me and leaving me negative and unproductive.

I forgive you, even though you probably don’t deserve it.
And I deserve more.
I deserve to be loved, appreciated, or at least be appreciated as much as I appreciate the other person. Loving is not one-sided. You made me feel as if I wasn’t capable of receiving that.
I feel so stupid for not noticing the people who truly did care for me. I was so in love with the idea of you and me I forgot everything else.

I forgive you, because I just don’t care anymore.
All those times I wasted checking up on your Facebook, how happy you were in your pictures and how miserable I was after seeing how easily you have moved on.
All those times I should have gotten mad but I didn’t.
All those times when I thought to myself that you were my future, but I was just a present in your life.
And how easily I became your past.
I finally let go all of it.

I forgive you, because I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I don’t want to spend my day thinking about how I can get back at you, how I can make you miserable like the way you made me.
I don’t want to spend my life with negativity.
You don’t deserve to be on my mind everyday.
You don’t have the capacity to hurt me anymore.

I forgive you, because I’ve accepted the fact that I have lost you in my life, and I don’t want you back. TC mark

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