10 Tough Love Reminders When You Need A Kick In The Ass

girl standing in music shop
God & Man

1. It’s not going to be like this forever. 

That misery you’re feeling? It won’t last until the end of time. You may be blindsided by your negative thoughts right now, but your entire world will lighten up eventually. Something out of your control will happen and that will give you an opportunity to start with a clean slate. Your day will come. The universe or a supreme being will grant your heart’s wish. What you can do at this moment is to patiently wait for it.

2. Comparing yourself to others will get you nowhere.

We all have insecurities. We all want something that we don’t have. We tend to look at someone else and wish we got to experience his or her life for a day. We throw pity party once in a while. But here’s what you need to remember: you are so damn young and you have so much time to make a difference. Rather than measuring yourself up against somebody else, why don’t you actually do something that will propel you forward and above everyone else?

3. Listen carefully to your thoughts. 

Sometimes your brain is the only one that destroys your balance. It feeds you memories you no longer want to entertain. But the good news is that you have the power to control it, contain it, and not let it cause you any harm. What you think becomes you. So you have to be careful with how you select your thoughts. Finding ways to make your mental health better, as time goes by, is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself.

4. There’s no reason for you to rush. 

Oh, this isn’t where you’ve expected yourself to be by now? That sucks. But just so you know, you’re not the only one going through this dilemma. We all experience this feeling of being a failure once in a while. Of not yet making it into the place that we like. And it destroys our morale. Someone needs to shake our shoulders and bring us back to reality. Someone has to teach us lessons about setting goals that are actually achievable within a specific timeframe. So we don’t have to walk on this earth carrying disappointments inside our pockets.

5. Heartbreak is a national anthem. 

I swear this isn’t some Taylor Swift song reference! But not gonna lie, my subconsciousness woke up when I first heard that song. Speaking of heartbreak, though, you’re going to be destroyed by this big thing called love. If you already felt pain because of it, good for you. If you haven’t, better be prepared. Because it’s going to be messy and dirty and shitty. But a great experience, nevertheless. You’ll blossom from it. Your human existence will be validated once you watch someone shatter your heart in front of you.

6. Allow yourself to learn things the hard way. 

You will never know heaven unless you’ve seen hell. That’s some scary thought to consider, I know. But the most traumatic event in our lives that we survived was the sole reason why we’re this strong. The moment you realize that not one thing has made you stay on your knees for eternity makes you somehow believe that you’re, in fact, unbreakable. Life is hard. But you figure out a way to fight. And that’s something you can be truly proud of.

7. Get used to being disappointed. 

This isn’t new information to your ears. You go out there and surely something or someone will let you down. Welcome to your 20s! Your years of pouting and frowning and crying on the bathroom floor are almost over. The earlier you immune yourself to disappointments, the easier it is for you to cope with the world’s imperfection. Forget about the person who once told you that your 20s should be all fun — they’re very wrong. It’s never like that.

8. Know when it is the right time to stop. 

Giving up doesn’t make you weak, okay? You don’t want to be spending the last few years of your life in a wrong place, with the wrong people, and in a wrong job. When your gut screams at you that something isn’t right, listen to it. Because, most of the time, it’s a sign that you need to go and jump somewhere. Not all of us will make it in our 30s. For some of us, this will be our last decade. So do what’s best for you. Do what makes you happy. Because you will not always have the time.

9. Learn to let people leave. 

Just like you, everyone has the right to leave. Sometimes they will give you a reason why they don’t want to be with you anymore. Sometimes they don’t. But it’s not your problem to worry about. Not having answers to your question stings a little. But that’s just how it is. People suck sometimes. You need to learn to not be hurt that much when they slam doors on your face. Because nobody is guaranteed to stay in your life, no matter how many times they promise they will. Everyone changes.

10. You are doing just okay. 

In case no one hasn’t told this you yet, let me do the honor: “You are doing very okay.” And so you’re aware, okay is good. You woke up this morning. You went home whole. Those two things are enough blessings. This may not be the kind of life that you pictured when you were little, but in time, everything will get a little bit better. Just hang in there. In the meantime, keep doing what you think will improve your situation. And have hopes that when the tides turn, all your cards will work out in your favor. TC mark

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

Seeds Planted In Concrete

This poetry collection by Bianca Sparacino is an assembly of words that celebrates the resilience of the human heart through stages of hurting, feeling, healing and loving.

“Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”

★★★★★ “One of the best, if not the best, modern poetry collections you can read. Absolutely incredible. Her words are so wise, intricate and delicate that you feel them caressing your soul. I love this book, I love it so very much.” —Hayder

Buy This Beautiful Book

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