10 Signs He Didn’t Actually Ghost You, You Just Weren’t Paying Attention

null
Christian Sterk / Unsplash

1. He didn’t return your messages as quickly as before.

His enthusiasm about you had faded. He wasn’t excited to see your name pop out on his screen. You basically had to wait for an eternity before you could get a response from him. And you knew he did it intentionally. Because you were aware how much his world was dependent on his phone. But you ignored his lack of interest in you, believing he would perk up and want you so bad just like before.

2. He barely cared about your feelings.

He stopped asking about how you were doing. He didn’t want to know your thoughts simply because he didn’t care about them. He got tired of your feelings. Of having to deal with you. And he was just waiting for the right time for you to notice and for you to do the breakup. Because he couldn’t do it himself. Because he was a coward.

3. He had been constantly arguing with you.

One tiny mistake of yours was enough reason for him to lash out at you. Of course, this was shocking to you at first. Because he wasn’t like this few months or days ago. He was sweet and gentleman and affectionate. But lately, screaming at you seemed to be his norm. He always had a reason to oppose you. And he never let you win.

4. He kept giving you random excuses.

Remember that time when he said he was busy for a week? Yeah. That was a lie. He was just giving an excuse not to see you. He was searching for a way to slowly leave you until you realize he actually didn’t want to stick around. You felt the boat sinking but you were damn hoping things would change. That he would turn around and repair what was broken.

5. He made you feel alone – a lot.

It was bad enough to feel alone on your own, but worse when he made you feel that way. Like you were talking to a wall. Like you knew he was there, but existing in a different world. It was frustrating seeing him turn from the only person who understood you to the one who didn’t give a shit about you. But maybe he was just another proof that people change and that there is nothing constant in this world but your love for yourself.

6. He got annoyed when you asked questions.

Every time you asked him about his whereabouts, there was a hint of defensiveness in his answers. It was as if you were being nosy instead of actually just showing him that you cared. He easily got furious when you tried to know who he was hanging out with during the times that you weren’t with him. When you started raising your concern about not seeing him often, he insisted you were becoming too clingy. And that gave him a reason to ask for space.

7. He stopped inviting you to his friends’ parties.

Looking back, you wonder why he went to parties alone. Whenever you saw tagged photographs from his friends on his profile, you were getting this vibe that he was so happy without you. At one point, you tried to confront him about not inviting you to his friends’ parties, and all you got was accusations of being overly dramatic. In your mind, a thought occurred that maybe he didn’t want his friends to know he was still seeing you. Maybe he wanted the whole world to know that he was looking for someone new.

8. He was chained to his phone when you were around.

Something was off when the two of you were together. He rarely looked into your eyes. His responses to you were monosyllabic. And his fingers were busy typing something on his phone. Your instincts told you that he wasn’t just bored; he wasn’t telling you the truth that you needed to know. But you waited for him to break the ice instead of actively trying to get him say what he had been meaning to tell you.

9. He didn’t appreciate your efforts.

He just shrugged after you complimented him. He smiled and said a polite thank you when you handed him a gift. There were no sparks in his eyes when you did something incredible. His personality was as dry as the leaves on the ground no matter what kindness you showed to him. You never wanted to accept the potential fact that he didn’t care about your efforts. Because you still loved him. Because you still had special feelings for him. Even if he no longer didn’t.

10. He wanted a future without you in it.

Any conversation that involved future made him cold. Because he didn’t have the heart to tell you that you weren’t part of it anymore. He made plans without your name in it. A switch had been flipped and suddenly he wanted different things. He became different. You weren’t as important to him as before. And you wish you had paid attention to the signs that he was done loving you. That he was about to slip away, even if you weren’t ready to set him free. TC mark

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

Seeds Planted In Concrete

This poetry collection by Bianca Sparacino is an assembly of words that celebrates the resilience of the human heart through stages of hurting, feeling, healing and loving.

“Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”

★★★★★ “One of the best, if not the best, modern poetry collections you can read. Absolutely incredible. Her words are so wise, intricate and delicate that you feel them caressing your soul. I love this book, I love it so very much.” —Hayder

Buy This Beautiful Book

More From Thought Catalog

The People Bringing You Delicious Dairy

A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

Meet Alise Sjostrom