If He Really Loves You, It Shouldn’t Hurt This Much

couple standing on balcony
God & Man

Love shouldn’t make you feel like you’re being stabbed in the chest, you know. It shouldn’t bring pain in your life. I mean, sure, love is not easy. A lot of times, you will cry because of it, be in despair because of it. But if it’s really a genuine one, it should never leave a gashing hole in your soul.

I used to think that when a guy loves you with all his heart, he will be courageous enough to say it out loud. He will not give you mixed signals, or overwhelm your mind with questions. He will not leave you alone in the middle of the night, frowning and wondering if he’s worth sharing your time with.

But I guess that’s not how it works nowadays, isn’t? Relationships get more complicated. There are new rules that you have to follow. And love is becoming more difficult to define.

You meet a guy and everything seems to be going well between the two of you. He appears to be good on the paper. In fact, everybody tells you that you’re lucky to be with him. But your gut tells you that something is missing. There’s one piece of the puzzle that doesn’t fit right. And so you just stand there, beside him, confused and torn.

You steal a glance at him, when his head is buried on his phone, and for some reason, you’re beginning to get this sinking feeling that maybe you love him more than he loves you. That maybe you’re putting more investment in the relationship than him. Then he meets your eyes, and immediately, your heart aches. Because how can someone who looks like an angel hurts you brutally like a devil, without him being aware of it?

He asks you if you’re okay. But since you don’t want him to think that you’re overreacting and being emotional, you press your lips tightly in response, and nod your head. You’re scared to press the issue further. So you swallow back your words, the lump in your throat becoming stronger and stronger. The problem here isn’t your feelings. It’s the truth that he never made you feel like you’re important to him.

And if you think about it, maybe what you have for each other isn’t built on love. Because if it is, you shouldn’t feel this heartache inside of you.

There shouldn’t be foggy thoughts wrapping your brain. You shouldn’t feel lost when you tiptoe in his world. Your relationship shouldn’t seem like a boat sailing across an endless ocean, no point of destination in sight.

If he really loves you, it will feel like summer break. Every time you see him, excitement will fill your lungs. He will put smile on your lips effortlessly. He will be the reason why your surrounding looks suddenly bright and clear. Beside him, there will be no dull moment. Days will be full of colors and laughter. And nights will have those satisfying quietness and calmness.

A guy will meet you in the middle if he’s truly interested in you. He will not make you wait, or watch you walk toward him. No, it’s not like that at all. A guy will pursue you without any excuse. His actions will speak louder, not the ones that bubble out of his mouth. He will be quick to earn your attention. Because losing you to another guy will destroy him.

If he really loves you, he will prove it. You don’t have to guess. You don’t have to look for signs. He will let you know how much he adores you. He will include you in his future plans. And you will not have to doubt every gesture that he will make in front of you. With him, you will easily feel secure.

The only way for you to know if you’ve found the right guy is when you can see your reflection in his eyes, and suddenly, all your fears dissolve. All your pain will be healed by his touch. And he will be sure not to put you into suffering again. Because if he truly wants to be with you, now and forever, he will never dare to crush your heart; never even dare to make you feel like you’re less than number one. TC mark

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

Seeds Planted In Concrete

This poetry collection by Bianca Sparacino is an assembly of words that celebrates the resilience of the human heart through stages of hurting, feeling, healing and loving.

“Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”

★★★★★ “One of the best, if not the best, modern poetry collections you can read. Absolutely incredible. Her words are so wise, intricate and delicate that you feel them caressing your soul. I love this book, I love it so very much.” —Hayder

Buy This Beautiful Book

More From Thought Catalog

Image Credit: God & Man