People talk about how painful it is to lose someone that they love. They will tell you how hard it is to recover from a bad heartbreak. But I think there is nothing more agonizing than loving someone you know you will never have. There is nothing sadder than seeing the person you really like fall in love with another person.
The thing about loving someone from a far is that, somehow, you can’t find the strength to utter what you really feel towards them. You can’t let the beating of your heart be heard simply because you fear rejection. You’re scared that you’re going to end up embarrassing yourself. You’re scared that, if they don’t feel the same way, they might try to avoid you at all costs.
Sometimes loving someone from a distance is better than having your feelings get hurt. When you love someone without them knowing it, you eliminate the risk of having them look at you differently. When you love someone secretly, you’re saving yourself from a potential loss.
But loving someone behind the shadow also means that you are never going to know the answer to your questions.
You are going to spend the rest of your life wondering whether they’re willing to put a space for you in their hearts. You are going to see them hold hands with somebody else and then you are going to be stuck with the wishful thinking that it could have been you.
The painful truth about not having the guts to tell someone you love them is that you’re letting go of the opportunity of being truly happy with the person that you like to spend the rest of your life with. You’re giving up your desire to fight for them, to fight for their hearts. You’re allowing your fears to take control of you. And you’re deliberately ignoring the fact that to have a romantic relationship — you have to be willing to take the biggest leap.
You have to stop waiting for the right time, for the right moment, for the right day to reveal what you feel on the inside, because a lot of things can happen, even in a short period of time. You have to be bold and not give the doubts in your mind a power to influence your decision.
You have to put your heart out there and learn to trust. You have to live your life not worrying so much about what other people will think of you.
The honest truth about wanting someone to be part of your life indefinitely is that you have to try and really push yourself to find out if they like you, too. It is not going to be easy. And sometimes, the mere thought of confessing your feelings for someone gives you a panic attack, but you need to remind yourself that your time here on earth is limited. And you don’t want to look back one day regretting the things that you didn’t have the guts to do.
If you’re going to think about it, the worst thing that can happen is when they say no, or when they say they don’t want to be friends with you. But at least you’ll get a peace of mind and the conclusion that will, hopefully, help you move on quickly. You will realize that speaking for your truth is freeing. You will know how liberating it is to empty your soul with unspoken words.
Sharing a major piece of your heart to someone you find adorable is going to shake you on your core. But there’s always a strength that you can gain in every terrifying situation. By living your truth and speaking for your truth, you might gain love, or a broken heart, but despite the outcome, you’ll always get the comforting thought that you at least tried. You can sleep tight at night knowing that, in the end, there is nothing that you left at the table.