10 Truths You Should Know About Loneliness—Because It’s More Than Just Feeling Sad

lonely girl, feeling emotions, feeling too much
Priscilla Du Preez

1. You can’t just make it go away.

There’s no magic word that can make loneliness vanish out of thin air. No fancy material thing can make the pain of experiencing it less. And no prescription drugs can flush it out of your system. Loneliness comes into your life once in a while, and it visits you when you least expect it. No matter how many times you try to run away far from it, it still keeps on finding its way back to you.

2. You can feel it even when you’re surrounded by people.

You can be having a good time with the people that you love, but one painful memory from your past can make you feel isolated. Loneliness has the power to change your mood from good into bad in just a matter of seconds. It reminds you that you’re incomplete, and alone, and not in a romantic relationship. You know that you are surrounded by so much love and smiles and positive vibes but deep down, you can feel that something is missing.

3. You don’t like going home to an empty house.

The worst scenario in the world is coming home to a cold, empty space. It’s frightening to not have anyone who welcomes you as you open the door, asks you how you’re doing, or prepares a meal for you. There’s no person in whom you can confide. All you have is yourself. All you hear is your own thoughts, your heavy breathing, and your heart that’s beating so fast.

4. Your stomach gets sick when people leave.

You would rather be the one who’s leaving than be the person being left behind. It terrifies you when someone says goodbye to you because you’re certain that they’re going to move forward, do different things, and meet different people in their lives, while everything around you stays the same. Sometimes you get the sense that everyone has it all figured out and you’re sitting there, still pondering your next move.

5. Your social media accounts don’t make you less lonely.

It’s true that social media can help you connect with people even if they are thousands of miles away from you, but social media can also make you feel like you’re missing out. There’s a tendency for you to scroll through your phone and believe that someone’s life is so much better than yours because of how they present themselves online. You feel alone when you see them hanging out with the cool people, exploring amazing places, and trying out new activities. But what you don’t realize is that there’s a different story behind every photograph that everyone posts in his or her profile.

6. You have days when you want to be on your own.

Sometimes you just want to spend time with yourself and do things that you love. You want to be away from other people to regain some energy, to find peace of mind, and to get to know yourself more. You choose to be alone because you want to relax and not worry about anything or anyone.

7. You find it hard to connect with people.

You give a lot of people the impression that your loneliness is the reason why you don’t have many friends. But the truth is that you haven’t found the ones you can totally relate with. You haven’t met a group of human beings who understand what’s inside your heart, who read the things that run inside your mind, and who connect with your soul. It’s hard for you to completely open up to those who don’t share the same values, dreams, and goals that you have for your future. You can’t fit in with certain people, not because you feel lonely but because you don’t have anything in common with them.

8. You stay up late sometimes.

Because you’re most vulnerable when it’s dark outside. You feel your emotions more when the whole world goes quiet. Sure there’s a higher risk for loneliness to stay beside you, but you’d rather watch the stars late at night and see the beauty in them, rather than sleep early because you’re scared to be lonely. You don’t want to miss wonderful things on earth just because something is holding you back.

9. You become friends with loneliness.

You learn to accept that loneliness will never ever leave you alone. It will show up in your life whether you’re happy or sad. It will follow you wherever part of this world you will end up. So you have no choice but to treat it like a friend. You hang out with it on weekends. You let it watch movies with you. And you become comfortable having it around you.

10. You are not living a sad life.

You know how to smile when you see something nice, how laugh at someone’s joke, how to appreciate beautiful scenery. Just because you get lonely sometimes doesn’t mean that your life is dark and sad. You’re still a normal human being who can see the good in all situations and who can be positive in challenging days. You might be a little bit sensitive when it comes to your emotions, but that’s what makes you a real person. And you will not change a thing about the way you feel. TC mark

Angelo Caerlang

Angelo Caerlang is the author of Sparks in Broken Lights.

Seeds Planted In Concrete

This poetry collection by Bianca Sparacino is an assembly of words that celebrates the resilience of the human heart through stages of hurting, feeling, healing and loving.

“Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”

★★★★★ “One of the best, if not the best, modern poetry collections you can read. Absolutely incredible. Her words are so wise, intricate and delicate that you feel them caressing your soul. I love this book, I love it so very much.” —Hayder

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