Thought Catalog

I Want A Carefree Kind Of Love

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Azer Koculu

I want to fall in love recklessly. I’m done looking for a romance that is safe, stable, and secure. I want something different, something that’s going to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up, something that’s going to make me feel excited, nervous, thrilled, and frightened. I want a romance that’s going to scare me to death and drive me away from my comfort zone.

I honestly am bored with measuring someone through my standards. I am disinterested in following the rules on how to fall in love. I don’t like to be carefully guided in finding the right one anymore. I hate looking at love as if it’s a step-by-step process I need to achieve.

I want a carefree kind of love. The one I don’t have to spend so much time thinking and analyzing. But rather the one that I allow my heart to do all the decision-making.

I want to love like I’m not worried whether or not I’m going to be hurt in the end because I’m always ready to face any consequences. I’m always ready to go all in.

I want to fall in love with someone who is not like me. Someone who has no plans about their day, their year, their life at all. Someone who doesn’t keep track of their time. Someone who’s spontaneous. Someone who does whatever it is that comes into their minds. Someone who’s not concerned if they’re saying the right words, if they’re doing the right thing, if they’re making the right actions.

I want to run away. I want to jump into a car and be with someone who’s going to drive me away from all my responsibilities, schedules, commitment, and projects. I want to dangle my fingers in an open car window and think of nothing but that exact moment. I want long, unending road trips, unhealthy greasy foods, and a good playlist. I want to stay awake until dawn, until my eyes give up, until I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

I want to live through the night with someone I love and have endless conversations, hand holdings, passionate kisses, and heavy laughter.

I want to live life – the real one. The kind that I can be my true myself. The life that I don’t have to live up to someone’s expectations. The life that is free from alarms, reminders, to-do-lists, and policies.

I want to meet someone who’s going to remind me that it’s okay to loosen up, to slow down, to be easy on myself. I want someone to kiss all my worries away and teach me how to live in the present, appreciate the things that I have in front of me, and not look forward so much about tomorrow.

I want to give my heart carelessly, and not overthink if it’s going to be taken care of. I want to give my heart with my eyes close, let someone decide what to do with it, and give them the chance to change it, make it wild, help it become open. I want to give my heart because I no longer want to have so much control.

I want to be carefree, bold, brave, fearless. I want to love dangerously. I want to fall in love with someone who’s going to take my breath away, someone who’s going to tear down my walls and force me to let loose.

And I want to live in a world where there are no imposed-limitations on love. TC mark

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