I did everything I should have done, in order: getting good grades, graduating high school, college, and obtaining a full-time position. Yet as I sit here on this stained, overused, forest green chair, working long and boring nine to fives, I wonder, ponder, is this it? No my friends, this is not it – and it took a tidal wave epiphany for me to realize this.
I graduated college with a Bachelor’s degree when I was 21 years old (like that was such a long time ago…) and ever since then, I have listened to my parent’s advice to get a job and start saving my butt off to pay for all the student loan debt I have accrued. I didn’t take the more expensive, worldly opportunities that were handed to me as an undergrad because I felt afraid of owing more money and leaving my boyfriend behind. I thought I would feel lost without someone by my side and scared that I wouldn’t be able to handle the absence of comfort when traveling abroad. That was probably the biggest mistake I have ever made.
As you grow older, you will come to realize that this precious life is meant to be lived. You have to take chances and make mistakes and learn from them. You can’t live in fear of debt or snakes or airplanes or dying – if you truly want to live life to the fullest, you have to do whatever it is your heart tells you. No matter who thinks it’s crazy or stupid. Your heart will not fail you. What you soberly or not soberly choose to do, own it. Don’t regret it. Regret is a pointless waste of time in this life.
Your choices that led to your actions were something you wanted at that specific time, and you can live with that. You have to live with that.
Sometimes it is hard to let go of the things you once loved. Sometimes it’s impossible. Sometimes it means listening to another person’s point-of-view to realize how you currently live, is not what you want. Life is honestly too short and realistically, you could die tomorrow, so why settle? The people who are meant to be put in your life will stay, and the others will drift away.
My personal epiphany hit me hard when I was leaving my family in Las Vegas last summer. My family there unintentionally helped me realize that I wasn’t currently happy with my life and where I was headed. It made me realize what I want right now, and I plan to go out and do it. Maybe it means finding a job that I absolutely love! Maybe it means moving to South America and never coming back because of how damn hot international men and their broken English are. Maybe it means I do absolutely nothing but wander the streets and beaches of Corona del Mar.
Whatever it is you think can or will make you happier, just go out and do it. You will wish you did when it is too late.
I may be going through a quarter-life crisis here, but everything happens for a reason and I plan to live my life consistently reminding myself to stay happy and carefree. This might be my emotional ridiculousness, or maybe, I have inspired you to make that needed change in your life! Either way, what is meant to be is meant to be, right?