4 Ways To Find Happiness, Even When It Seems Impossible

Woman behind fence
Mitchel Lensink

This life we live can be so unbelievably incredible, yet so incredibly difficult.

You can meet people who bring out the best in you, or people that make you want to pull your hair out. You have people who you consider friends, but then they back stab you time and time again, making it hard to determine who is truly by your side.

And it’s also crazy that there are people you meet who will leave this lasting impression on your heart and mind that you won’t ever forget. And then you have the people who you knew, but with time, forgot even existed.

In a short but blunt way, this life can kind of suck.

It constantly presents you with hardships and failures. Just when it seems like everything is going your way, a curveball of negativity comes to test you. It’s all about the test. Those who fail those tests lead miserable lives. But those who pass these tests develop a robust forte that prepares them for anything.

So why do good things happen to bad people? And how are we supposed to live a fulfilling life when we’re battered with hardship? Here is what I try to do, even though I can be a little bit of a complainer at times.

1. Think of the positives in a negative situation.

Unfortunately, growing up when you’re not a super model causes you some serious anguish. People bully you, make fun of how you look, say rude things when they’re drunk. Not only has this happened to me, but I have heard it happen to multiple other people very consistently. To all of these bullies, rude commentators, and drunks, grow up. There is no point of going through life reflecting your personal problems via harsh words. And those victims, you just have to learn how to stay positive.

One technique that really helps me through this type of negativity is reflecting on times where people have said wonderful things about me. For example, if someone calls me ugly, I just think about a time where someone called my beautiful or perfect, and try to focus all my attention on that. Once you have thought about something positive, the negative feelings truly disappear! This also works when life gets tough and you think about all of the blessings in your life! If you are breathing, there is no reason to complain!

2. Appreciate the little things.

After growing up in a home where I was taught the value of money, yet still kind of spoiled, it is sometimes hard for me to appreciate the little things in life. As I get older and live in the moment, I have learned that the little things in life are some of the best feelings in the world! Going boating on a lake, laying out by the ocean, someone giving you a random compliment, the first bite of an In-n-Out burger, floating in a pool, kissing a boy you care about. All of these little things in life are the most enjoyable when we get off our phones and take in all that is beautiful.

3. Don’t dwell on, but instead learn from your mistakes.

Sometimes, it’s really hard to overcome something that set you back. Instead of dwelling on the past, learn from it! Like Hannah Montana said in her song (before Miley did a bunch of drugs and went nuts), everybody makes mistakes, and nobody’s perfect. As corny as that Disney Channel show was, it is true. You’re truly holding yourself back if you can’t move on from your mistakes and learn how to overcome obstacles.

Not only does this include your own mistakes, but mistakes your old friends have made that have affected you. When a friend does something to back stab you, of course it is normal to feel angry at the time, but holding onto a grudge takes so much more energy than just letting it go. Believe me. For old friends who have screwed me over, stolen from me, slandered my name, I am now just over it. I don’t care anymore. Instead of dwelling on what they did to me, I will be cordial if I have to see them, but know they probably won’t be a big part of my life again.

4. Find out what life means to you.

Everyone in this entire world is completely different. Everyone has different goals, aspirations, and realities. But one thing that we all can agree upon is the fact that we all want to find something meaningful in this life. Whether it be an amazing job, building a new family, traveling the world, or finding love, everyone has something that makes them want to be on this earth.

Personally, I have multiple different ideas of what life means to me. I want to teach people, create things, take pictures, and find someone to share this happiness with. But my perception of what life means to me consistently changes. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t know right now. You have your whole life to figure it out. TC mark

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