It was a perfect relationship. Your love for each other was overflowing that it seemed to go beyond reason. You had your future together already planned. You even practiced a new signature using his surname as yours. You hardly picture fulfilling your dreams without him beside you. Everything was supposed to proceed as expected. But somewhere along the line, something went wrong. It might be a cheating on his part. It might be a mistake you committed. It might be as important as your parents’ disapproval of your relationship or as trivial as your dissonant prides and egos (The importance of the matter depends on your perception.) Or it might be your irreconcilable differences that verged your relationship to disastrous. And from there, the relationship died. Your dreams together died. You died- or so you thought.
But the thing is, you did not actually die- no matter how much you thought you did or you wanted to. You may think you are broken beyond repairs. All the efforts you invested in that relationship was put into waste. But you did not die. You know it because you are still hurting. And being in pain is a good indication that you are still alive. You are still able to feel. The problem comes when you are no longer able to recognize the feeling rightfully. Indulging yourself too much into the pain blurs things making you unable to identify what actually hurts from those that are just products of your perennial wallowing in self-pity. You begin to think that you cannot live without him.
It is just not easy to forget a relationship that bordered in love and passion. Even if it was already over, memories will still follow you. You miss every single detail about him. You might even find yourself revisiting those places that the two of you marked with memories. Then, you’ll wonder if he’s still in love or he longs for you the way you do for him. Only to find out that he already had his life renewed. And yes, he’s in love, but not with you. All that you have now is all that you had yesterday- and these are nothing more than your memories together. You will be addicted to the idea that you still can be back into each other’s arms. You’ll drunk-dial and will be lucky enough to catch his attention and stir him. But even if you do so, after you got your sanity back, you’ll realize that the fact remains the same. He already managed to delete what you once were. It’s still over.
Bridges will be burned with or without your consent. You may need to hold on to your dear love but you need to learn to let go at the same time. You have to accept that you are now on separate planes. Some things, no matter how hard you fight for it, will end up in a loss. It would be difficult. The process might take several months or even years. You don’t know when you will ever forget. Perhaps you never will.
But despite of it all, life goes on. Of course it is always easier said than done. But then again, you’re left with no choice but to continue living. Proverbial as it may seem, the world will not stop spinning just because yours did. You have to stop strolling down the memory lane and should take a minute to live the present. You have to stop punishing yourself for something you cannot anymore change. Stop waiting for that twist of fate that will suddenly give you everything back. You know that as far as your rationality is concerned, that is, so far, impossible. And with this, you need not be cynical about love. But you have to be positive about life. You need to be stronger than you think you can be. You have to push to transcend your heart-break demarcated limits.
Love is worth dying for, but that is figuratively speaking. The feeling is monumental. It brings you to the highest of heavens. But love, is just a part of the bigger picture. When they say there is more to life than love, they weren’t wrong. Losing someone is not the end of the road. Your failed relationship does not define who you are and who you will be. The challenge is to learn from your mistakes.
P. S. But if you still insist your “To live is to love” mantra, then keep this in mind; there is more to love than him or her. Several things in this world are in need of your love and attention. Several things are more needed to be indignantly fought for. There are the children on the streets, the landless farmers, the exploited workers, the violated women and the voiceless indigenous peoples. These are the kinds of fight you should never give up in. Because just like your life after your love died, it goes on.