There are no coincidences in life. I believe that things have a way of falling into place, of happening naturally and if something is meant to happen, then it will happen. A person who entered in and out of our lives was there for a purpose, even if it caused you pain. I don’t think we can ever really let go of those we have loved. They become a part of us.
So many things have changed and I hope it will still be easy for us to talk, that no matter how many miles are between us, we can still count on each other. I hope I can still find myself smiling in our most random conversations. I hope we still tell each other everything big that happens in our lives. I hope I can always share a crack of my heart with you and it is nice knowing that you’re always with me even though things aren’t the same anymore.
I don’t have false hopes about us anymore. I know it’s over and done. It makes me smile that at least I get to experience something worthwhile. A part of me is with you, and all it takes is the sound of your name or the smell of your perfume in the air and I am back to missing you. I can’t forget you. Not now and not ever. I guess I just can’t forget the days we’ve spent together, the nicknames that we have for each other, the anniversaries, the birthdays, the spontaneous trips, the travels, even the sound trip inside your car. I don’t believe that a memory with someone will ever go away. And to forget someone who used to love you? No. You can’t forget that. I don’t want to forget that.
You made it easy for me to trust you, to be vulnerable with you. When I cried, you accepted every tear and let me cry until I couldn’t anymore. You wiped my face after and tells me that everything will be alright. You would hold my hand and embrace me, which feels like you weren’t going anywhere. And even though I caused you so much pain over and over again you didn’t leave me. We have different lives now, but I still want to know how you’re doing. I think it’s because we were so intertwined in each other that it makes it weird to not have you as a part of me.
I miss just having you as you. As the one person I could turn to when everything is going wrong, that someone who never asks for anything. No expectations. No wondering where we are going or what we are doing. Just us. Enjoying each other’s craziness. And I think you’re just there no matter what. I’m sorry you have been trapped here in my mind. But a small part of me hopes that I’m trapped in yours too.
If this is the end of our story, if this is all it will ever be, then I hope when we meet again. I hop we are both happy. I hope we can still wish the best for each other because we both know how to respect each other, and we still love each other but in a different way now. I hope we can be a reminder of how God sometimes bring two people together to heal each other, to be whole and to learn to trust in love again.
If this is the end of our story, then I want you to know that you are the chapter I will go back and read when I want to smile and the chapter I will go back and read when I feel alone and unloved.
If we are not each other’s fairy tale ending, I hope we are the reason that led to it and I hope we are the reason why we started believing in happy endings again. Remember when I told you before, “You gave me feelings I thought I won’t be able to feel again, you made me believe in love again”.