I still think about you every day and that’s okay, I’m okay.
It’s something I don’t want to admit, although it’s very obvious. Every love song, every sad song, it’s still you I think about. And the main reason why I’ve been in denial for so long is that I’m scared of what people will think.
I usually don’t give a fuck about most things, but then sometimes people and things get to me and they mess with my head. Okay. I feel this way, I still think about you, I still get sad over you, I can’t change that. It’s what I feel. I know it’s not a crime to think of you and get sad over you but I can’t help but feel like I’m going to be judged for feeling this way. I’m scared that people will say “I thought you were over it, I thought you’ve finally moved on, You deserve so much better, you’re better off without him, he’s not worth thinking about,” etc.
Okay. I get it. I understand it a hundred percent. But then again, the mind may understand but the heart still hurts, it’s another story.
So this is me admitting to myself that okay you’re still the one, I haven’t completely moved on yet, I still get sad over you, but I’m okay.
I’m not waiting for your messages. I’m not hoping you’ll come back. I’m just not waiting for you anymore. I’ve accepted everything. You were the love of my life at one point and you will be forever treasured in my heart.
Things may not have ended nicely, but it was for the best. There are so many what ifs and maybes, but that’s all they’re going to be.
For now, let me think about you while there’s nobody else to think about. Let me miss you while I listen to sad love songs. Let me dream about you until I dream of somebody else. Let me replay all those moments we shared until I find someone to have new moments with.
Just let me love you until I get really tired, until it all runs out, until all hope is gone, until all hurt is gone, until you’re finally gone.