I’m not scared of falling in love, I’m scared of falling in love and not knowing what to do with it.
I won’t deny that I’m a romantic, a hopeless one. I desire to love and be loved. But every time I think I do, fear sets in and I am left questioning everything.
Is this real? Am I just imagining this in my head? If I’m not, then what the fuck?!
I second guess everything. I deny everything. Because love is not something you just feel in an instant. It comes slowly and it devours you whole. We talk about it like we know what love is. But we don’t. No matter how many times you read a book or a quote about love you will question everything, but you know when it arrives.
I may not know what love is but I know what it isn’t. Love isn’t talking all day and all night, it’s more than that. It isn’t always magical like the movies, sometimes it’s quiet. It isn’t flowers, chocolates, and gifts. It is time, effort and trust. Love is more than just the cliché people talk about. Love is passionate, consuming and honest. Love will always hurt but it’s worth it.
Maybe the right kind of love is the kind that is sure. The kind that will make you conquer any fear. The kind that will fight for you no matter what. The kind that is certain despite the doubts. The kind that will give you assurance. The kind that will make you grow.
It’s okay that sometimes we get a little cowardly, that we let our feelings take control of us. I believe that when the time is right, everything will fall into place with the right person and the right kind of love. So hold onto that, wait for that. You deserve the right kind of love.