You Deserve Someone Who Just Tries

null
Uroš Jovičić / Unsplash

In love, I always give all of myself away. I get lost in my little romantic bubble and make my partner my first priority. I want a love that is greater than the Sun, a love that is special and puts cliché rom-com movies to shame. I am ready to put a lot of hard work into my relationship to achieve that, with the hope that the other person puts in some effort as well. I’m not asking for a miracle worker-type boyfriend.

I just want someone who tries. I deserve someone who tries. We all do.

Here’s the thing about effort – You can’t force it out of someone else and expect happiness. I mean you can persist in trying to get them to take you out more or to clean up around the house, but how sincere is that really? There’s a huge difference between convincing someone to do something that you care about, and them wanting to do it for you because they care about you. I’m sure you are aware of that and forcing that extra mile from them just doesn’t make you feel that warm feeling of attraction you would otherwise feel if they had offered in the first place.

Personally, it makes me feel like I have become someone I dislike. Like I have become demanding or clingy or that I’m being unreasonable even. It’s not fair. It shouldn’t be unreasonable to want your other half to be considerate and show some initiative. I know I can be playful, easygoing and fun, but if I feel like they don’t care as much as I do – or at all – it hurts. Trust me, I don’t want to fight or nag.

I just want to know I am loved by the person I love. I just want them to think of me and do things for me/with me without me always having to ask.

Sometimes, it becomes hard to be your best self when you believe someone you think so highly of doesn’t appreciate that. It’s not that you need someone to validate you, but they matter to you, so of course, their treatment of you affects your self-perception too.

At times like these, what you need to know is that you are not the bad things they bring out in you. These traits do not define you. You are made of good and bad; who you currently are does not represent your full person. You have happier days where you are lively and determined and kind. You have lazier days, you have busier days, but you are not your days. How low you think you may be sinking does not say anything about how great or awful of a person you actually are.

What it does say is that maybe, just maybe, this person isn’t for you. You deserve someone who loves you enough to not put you in such a bad place. You deserve someone who brings out the best in you, and you bring out the best in them in return. You deserve someone who not only says they love you but acts like it too. You deserve someone who doesn’t leave you in a worse state than you were in when you first met them. You deserve someone who doesn’t walk away when things get hard, but fights with you and for you, even if that sometimes means they have to fight you in your ideas.

You deserve someone who can communicate with you and make you feel like you are not alone. You deserve to feel like you are not alone. You deserve so, so much, so please, go out there and get it. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

Sponsored by Homecoming available now on Amazon Prime Video

The People Bringing You Delicious Dairy

A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

Meet Tara Vander Dussen