So you just ended things with someone and the doubts start flooding your head. You start thinking back to the past fights, wondering if you have been overreacting all this time, and they were the “sane” ones who had to put up with your “crazy.” Your mind circles to the good times, how great of a person they had once been and all the little things you shared together.
“Oh no, did I make a mistake?”
No. No you didn’t. I know you think you miss them right now but it’s not true. You miss the idea of them, the idea of the relationship, the idea of having someone.
I want you to know that they may have been your everything for a long time, and you felt so comfortable with that routine of being with them, but just because you were comfortable doesn’t mean you were happy. You experienced joy occasionally, sure, but if it came at the price of pointless fights or nights crying, then it’s better to let go.
I know it’s hard, and perhaps you had many reasons to do what you did, but I want you to remember that one core reason that you broke up with them. Were they abusive in some way? Did they cheat on you? Are they still in love with their ex? Have you tried again and again to make things work but they refused to put in any effort in return?
The truth is, if you came to a point where you’ve aired your grievances about the relationship and nothing has improved, you can’t hold on to false hope anymore.
Maybe things were better for a certain period of time, but if it’s not consistent, it’s not real.
You might think you’ll never find anyone like them again, but the world is a big place. You won’t find an exact replica, but you’ll find someone with amazing qualities who is both what you want and what you need.
You’ll find someone who is ready to share their life with you in a way you’ve never experienced. Yes, you’ll find comfort again, but this time, you’ll find a love that lasts too.
Please remember that it’s not your fault that it ended, and it’s not their fault either.
They’re just not who you want them to be and you deserve to find someone who is. Don’t lower your standards thinking that what you want is too much to ask for. You’re an incredible human being capable of so much love and it may not be for them, but you will find someone deserving of all your affection and who genuinely appreciates you.
Don’t give up.