As the year comes to a close and I’m in an introspective state, allow me to share with you some things I’ve learned.
1. Sometimes love disappears without a proper reason why.
Sometimes it’s not your fault and sometimes it is. You can look back and think about how it should have and could have been, but it wasn’t, it never will be, and you have to accept that. It really wasn’t easy to let go, but when I finally did, I could feel his haunting leave my body and I felt this incredible sense of calm (No, I did not get possessed by the devil himself). I have made peace with my past and I am happy for him.
2. Find joy in positive interactions.
I always knew my best friends would always be there for me, and truly thank you to the four of them for being my happy place and filling my life with surprises, laughs and endless support, but this point isn’t about them. I have been through some really low points this year, but there are people in my life who have really gone out of their way to reach out to me and/or help me through it and I am so grateful I have them in my life, and so do you. Appreciate the little gestures that people do for you, and cherish the moments you have where you’ve experienced positive interactions, be it with friends, strangers etc. You will feel so much better about your day, I promise.
I’ve found that one of the things that get me in a really good mood is talking to my cab/Uber driver. I try to sit in the front seat when I can, and ask them about their day, the people they’ve met while driving and the jobs they’ve done before. It’s a great, non-committed way to learn more about a stranger in a short amount of time, and have a story told to you. It is also likely you’re making their job more enjoyable at the same time.
3. People don’t always tell you how they feel about you, or other people.
Man, I have heard some things this year that I did not expect to hear at all. Listen up, it’s good to be self-aware of the impression you put out and also know that if you can’t stand that person everyone seems to love, you’re probably not alone.
Having said that,
4. Your happiness does not depend on other people.
There was a moment last year when I jokingly announced to my parents that the only person you can rely on is yourself and they applauded me. I couldn’t really understand it at the point in time and simply saw it as them being cynical, but it’s true to an extent. If you rely on other people to make you happy, you never will be. Your happiness ultimately depends on yourself. Everything else other people give you is just extra.
As someone who has been seeking external validation for the longest time, this is a hard lesson for me to learn. I’ve started trying really hard to build this amazing life and love myself more, and hopefully this time next year I would have this happiness thing figured out.
5. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Life doesn’t always go as planned and that’s okay. You’re only human and you don’t have to have it all figured out yet. You’re not a bad person if you don’t get what you wanted or tried for. You’re learning, and that’s a good thing.
6. This is definitely the time for self-discovery.
I’ve had my fair share of life experiences this year. I’m really glad I moved to overseas to study and be independent, and I’m also really glad to currently be back at home surrounded by all my family and friends who care so much about me. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and the world this year, and caught a glimpse of what being an adult is like. It’s a really exciting time, and I’m keen to see what 2018 holds.