Although We’re Not Together, You’ll Always Be The Love Of My Life

 Jonathan Pendleton
Jonathan Pendleton

I hope this letter finds you well. How are you? I don’t think I’ll ever get to know, but I hope you are doing fine. It saddens me that this is the first time in a long time that I won’t be spending your birthday with you. And to be honest, not a day has gone by that I haven’t though about you. I still watch our videos from time to time and it still makes me smile, and at the same time it makes me cry.

I will never forget you. Even if the memories hurt, I don’t ever want to forget you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart because you were my ‘special’ love. We had something special. You walked into my life one day and you made me realize that you were everything that I needed and wanted. I thought you were the one for me, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You were my lover and my best friend. I could always count on you. We had everything planned out. After I graduate, I’ll move there then we’ll get married.

But somewhere along the way, we started to doubt our future and we were constantly fighting each other. We tried to bring back the flame, but it ended burning everything down.

I’m sorry. I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss you. Because even before we ended, I’ve been missing you for much longer than that. I was missing the ‘us’ when we first started. I was missing the times we would laugh at each other’s jokes then suddenly, we’ll get serious and say how much we love each other. I miss sleeping on your chest. I miss my ‘comfy spot’. I miss you kissing me even when we’re in public cause we didn’t have a care in the world. It was just you and me. I was missing the you that really loved me. And I’m still missing that. And I still think that maybe now’s just not our time. We lost respect for each other, and we forgot to value each other.

I want you to understand that me getting in a new relationship doesn’t mean I’m replacing you. You loved me in a way no one else did. You became a part of me, and you’re so much more than all of the guys I’ll ever meet. I grew in the love that you gave me, and I’ll forever be thankful.

You are the love of my life. Always will be.

But love doesn’t conquer all, and the reality is, not everyone gets to hold on to the love of their lives. But this doesn’t mean that I’m giving up on the possibility of us being together again. If we’re meant for each other, we’ll find our way back to each other.

I had to let go because we were no longer happy with each other. We were continuously suffocating and hurting each other. I didn’t really have a choice. The tears had to end, and I didn’t want to get to the point where we start hating each other. Although you probably hate me now, I’m still hoping that someday you’ll learn to forgive me. I’m hoping that you’ll understand why we became to be like this.

Nevertheless, your significance in my life will never change. I love you enough that I would still want you in my life even if I’m no longer your reason to be happy. I thought you would, too. Thank you for the memories, the good and the bad, and I’ll forever cherish them till the day I leave this world. I was lucky to have met you. After all, not everyone gets to meet their love of the lives, and I know in my heart and mind, that you were mine. I’m sorry for the times I have hurt you and made you cry. I really am.

I wish you all the best and I hope that our paths will cross again. And maybe, when time is finally on our side, we’ll finally be right for each other. I don’t think I’ll ever find a bigger, more passionate love than what we once shared.

Thank you.

I will always love you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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