This Is Why We Are In Complete Control Of Our Own Self-Esteem

Ben White
Ben White

Does it feel like there is a constant tug of war between having high and low self-esteem? Imagine this. One could spend time spreading dominos on the floor, but all it takes is one push to bring all the pieces down.

If there is one word to describe our life then, it has to be ‘Hesitate.’

From talking to participating in group activities, we hesitated. It was hard to fit in, but then again, we weren’t even trying to fit in.

For some reason, there is this nagging feeling of them against us. It is as if we are not good enough.

So what did we do? We compensated.

They are not going to find reasons to talk about us. So we stayed on the sidelines. There is no way we are looking stupid doing something we are not familiar with. But then again, even if we know we can be good, we end up hesitating.

Living with low self-esteem is frustrating.

Perhaps that is the reason why we lose control and then blowing up at the slightest provocation. We want the others to understand us, but whatever we do, it is like they are judging everything we do.

If there is anyone who has a problem, it’s not us. It’s them.

We began to have a better understanding of self-esteem as we approach our teenage life. Our theory was that we only lack self-confidence. Nothing more, nothing less.

So we pretend to be someone else. We act cool, pretending that we are not affected because that’s what cool people do. But there is one thing that has remained constant, no matter how hard we try. We keep second-guessing ourselves.

In western countries, people with low self-esteem can seek clinical help. That is not the case in other parts of the world. Technology has changed that. Today, anyone who wants to read up on self-esteem can find information all over the Internet.

How do we value ourselves as people? Do we value ourselves based on what other people think of us? Are we ever going to live life on our terms, and not someone else’s opinion?

We now realize how much having low self-esteem has taken away from us. So we vowed to change our mindset and lifestyle. What a ride it had been. All those years with lack of self-worth and never ending second-guessing seems over.

And then everything comes crashing down, again.

I worked for the United States government for ten years. It was not easy but I persevered. For that, I received recognitions and awards. From a little girl with low self-esteem to a multi-awarded career oriented woman, not bad at all. But in performing my duty and doing what I felt was the right thing to do, I was wrongfully terminated.

And just like that, I lost my confidence and belief in myself. Everything I worked hard for was taken away from me. It was horrible and depressing.

Have you been in similar situations, not exactly the same, but a situation where you begin to second-guess yourself again?

It took a long time and a lot of effort to build up my self-esteem. But things can happen and in an instant, I was back to square one.

In our earlier years, the lack of experience and wisdom causes us to react to how we feel. That is why we compensated for our hesitations.

Today, it must be different.

We know and certainly understand that life is a journey. It’s not one road anyone could take and expect to go from point A to B without so much as passing through not even one lousy pothole.

Life is like a wheel. For as long as we breathe, the wheel keeps turning. Sometimes we are on top, but sometimes we are at the bottom. But remember, the wheel is turning. We may be down today, and where do we go next?

Obstacles and challenges, those are the facts of life. Whatever sets us back today, let’s just deal with it. After going through a lot in the past, what is one measly setback again?

We have been on this journey for so long for us to stop now. Besides, we have gained so much experience and wisdom that our self-worth is now worth thousands of times more than before.

Somewhere out there in the world, there are people the younger versions of ourselves. People who are struggling to find their identity. Wouldn’t it be great if we could help them build up their self-esteem?

Imagine how great it must be to be of value to other people.

Imagine how gratifying it is to impact the lives of other people positively.

But for that to happen, we have to show them that it is possible.

So let’s inspire them by showing them how we stay strong, stay confident, and keep believing in ourselvesThought Catalog Logo Mark

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