They say humans are fallible. That to err is human. That it is in our imperfections that our identities lie. That it is hope and the promise that hope brings which keeps us optimists, and believing in happier future circumstances.
There’s this famous line from the Halo game series uttered by Cortana. “Don’t make a girl a promise, if you know you can’t keep it.” I believe the same sentiment can be shared by both men and women alike.
I for one will never believe in promises made in love again. I’m done with people making promises in the heights of their loving emotions without thought or consideration as to what they are saying matching up with what they are doing.
Too many hearts have been broken this way.
So to any of my future lovers, here’s what I want to say.
If you love me, I don’t want to hear you promise me that you will never let me down.
I don’t want to hear you promise me that you’ll always have my back.
I don’t want to hear you promise me that you’ll never think less of me.
I don’t want to hear you promise me that you’ll make a life and future with me.
No. Don’t make me promises.
Instead, show and prove to me that you’re worth it for someone to desire, to love, to commit to.
Be there for me when I have my down days and nights, just your solid physical presence and your hands rubbing on the small of my back. The kisses on my shoulder and the hugs from behind in front of a mirror. The wordless affection and comfort that is shared between us. Give me that look into my eyes that says you can see through me and feel my emotions without a single word needing to be said.
Be there with me when I have a good day or have cause to celebrate, and let your smile light up everything around us both even more than any of us could imagine in the moment. Tell everyone around you who bothers to listen of how awesome a person I am to you, shout to the world that I’m the best person you’ve ever known and you couldn’t be prouder to call me yours. Make me the pride of your life, your happiness, your joy.
Tell me that there’s nothing in the world that would make you change your mind about how you love me for who I am, and prove it by never letting me worry about what you get up to on a night out without me around. Come back home to me in bed smelling of sweat from the dancing and alcohol from the drinking, and snuggle into bed with a smile and a simple “Love you” before you fall asleep. Prove it by jokingly mocking my horrible singing in the shower, before joining in the chorus yourself. Prove it by listening to me open up about my life to you, at my own pace one day at a time, and give me the security to feel that I will never need to worry about secrets between us because you are not one to judge another by their past.
Message me every day when either one of us is away from the other, even if it’s a simple “Thinking about you” or “Love you” and not much else. Give me a hug and a kiss and tell me you’ll be counting down the days till I return to you when we’re at the airport departure gates. Be there waiting in the Arrivals lounge and come charging into my arms when you see me come out, before telling me how much you missed me when we weren’t together. Make plans you want to do with me, without me having to invite myself or initiate them first all the time.
I will never believe in promises made in love again.
Because at the end of the day, actions will always speak louder than words. And true love is never one based on mere promises easily made and flippantly said. True love is borne out in the actions and emotions shown by two individuals who do not need to define the trust and commitment between them both with high and mighty promises.
And right now, I’m still looking. For the person who doesn’t need to promise me anything, but makes me feel like with them, I already have everything.