I Have Some Questions About Hugs

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What are they? Are they important?

Are there different kinds of hugs?

Should I hug different people differently?

Should I put my arms over or under their arms? Or should one arm go over and one arm go under in a criss-cross pattern?

Does it depend on height?

How should I hug a girl that is taller than me?

What’s the best way to avoid accidentally punching/hitting someone when going to hug them?

Can I hug from a seated position?

Should I pat the other person’s back while hugging? Is that a weird thing to do?

Should I rub/slide my hand on the person at all?

Should I close my eyes? (No, right?)

Can I hug with just one arm?

If a girl knocks my hat off while hugging, should I get mad?

Is it weird to shake a girl’s hand?

Should I talk during the hug? Or is that a telltale sign of social anxiety/insecurity?

After the hug, what’s up with an arm or shoulder squeeze? Why do I feel like an asshole when I do either of those things?

If I have a gay male friend and I am a straight male, do I hug?

Is it weird if I only feel like hugging people I’ve known for 10+ years?

At what point in a friendship/platonic relationship should hugging begin?

If I fail to hug at the appropriate time in the relationship, will I never be able to hug that person?

What does it mean when you have an attractive female friend who hugs everyone except for you?

What does it mean when a girl tells you you are a bad hugger in 6th grade?

What does it mean when a girl tells you you are a bad hugger in college?

What does it mean when a girl says chidingly “you can give me a hug, I won’t bite” when you’re in graduate school?

Is my hugging ability in any way an indication of my ability in other forms of intimacy?

Why didn’t I hug my mom that one time she was crying in the elevator as we were leaving her dementia’d mom in a nursing home in Georgia?

What does it mean when an attractive girl who has a boyfriend hugs you in really cool and unexpected ways… almost goes out of her way to hug you? How should that be interpreted?

What if you’ve read several eHow/wikiHow articles re: “How to Hug” and you really, really can’t see yourself doing what they say?

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image – Braken Kowitz