So you’re in love with an Aries, huh? God have mercy on you. KIDDING. We are fantastic people to love. We will literally RAM you into a corner with our love. (Oh, puns.) Anyway, now that you’re involved…there’s a few things you should know about us Aries-folk. The first (and most important) thing is that we are the best lay of the entire zodiac. I’m fairly confident this is public, astrologically-proven, agreed-upon knowledge, but I just wanted to restate here so just everyone’s on the same page. Or solar system. Whatever.
Now that’s that out of the way, let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?
1. We’re fiery.
We are a fire sign, so this should come as no surprise. I’ve been described as “fiery” my whole life, which after many years of introspection, I’ve come to realize is both a compliment and an insult. (I choose the former.) On the pro side, this means when we walk into a room, we bring a LOT of energy. Mostly good energy. Some bad, depending on our mood. We are the people you want to invite to your party if you want that party to be way more fun. On the con side, we have a lightning-quick temper.
2. We have an ego.
The intro of this piece should’ve alerted you to this fact but I will restate it for your convenience: Aries women need people who both stroke our egos when we need them to (which, admittedly, is a lot) but also can keep us humble. Have fun with that balancing act!
3. We’re adventurous.
We’ll try almost anything once. But if we don’t like it (or we aren’t that good at it) the first time around, we probably won’t want to do it again.
4. We get bored easily.
If you’re not engaging us or keeping up with us or having great sex with us or having a conversation that we think is interesting, NEXT. We’ll be polite about it (we do have manners, mostly), but we’re quick to move on if you can’t hold our attention.
5. We’re big-picture people.
Small details don’t interest us. We think broadly about projects, ideas, and goals and what it will take to get the job done. Minor details are less interesting to us. We’ll take care of ’em if we have to — after all, we value accountability — but we’ll probably do so begrudgingly.
6. We’re aggressive.
At getting what we want, when we want, and how we want it. Please step aside and get out of our way. Best not to compete with us because you’ll probably lose.
7. We love hard.
We fall quickly and enthusiastically and we love with a deep passion. We love. When we’re in love with you, you will know it and feel it in the depths of your soul.
8. We’re excited about life.
Honestly, we’re excited about everything: travel, literature, theatre, interesting people, the world, you. Most everything excites us and we want to jump-in full-force. That’s why we’re big-picture people (#5) – if we concern ourselves with trivialities, we won’t have time to experience life at its fullest.
9. We’re loyal – to a fault.
Do not f*ck with my friends. Do not f*ck with anyone I love. We can hold grudges for YEARS, people. YEARS. And what we lack in physical strength, we make up for in words — we will slayyou with our tongue. The enemies of my friends are also my enemies; be forewarned.
10. We’re assertive.
That’s just a nice way of saying that we say almost anything we want to, especially around people who know us extremely well. We might lock it up around your parents or your boss because apparently “restraint” is a societal norm (who knew?) but understand that it’s so freaking difficult for us to not say how we feel. Best to step in and save us when we’re about to explode from polite-ness.
11. We work really f*cking hard.
Hire an Aries, give them something they’re passionate about, and they will work harder for you than anyone else in the room. Caveat: This only works if an Aries is doing work that fulfills and stimulates him/her. Otherwise, all bets are off.
12. We have no patience.
Literally none. We want everything done yesterday and if we can bother to show up to a restaurant/movie/meeting on time (probably early) why can’t you? Do not even get us started on the rage we feel sitting in traffic or in a grocery store line. It’s a physical ailment that has no treatment except cowbell and NOT MAKING US WAIT.
13. We need our space.
We’re fiercely independent, which means you must, must, MUST have your own life. If we feel like a caged animal, we will flee the moment you crack open the door even a smidge. This means: we’re usually attracted to someone who’s got his shit together (plus, his own interests and hobbies) and can give us breathing room to live our own life, in addition to the one we share with you.