âYou know what I was thinking?â my 14 year old sister said to me last night while we were watching White Christmas, âOne day, Iâm going to be on Broadway, and then, I can totally get you a job!â
Any normal person probably would have said, âThat is so sweet!â but all I could manage to do was get defensive and say, âWhat makes you think I wonât get there first?!â
Obviously she didnât mean for this to be anything other than a kind gesture. She was genuinely dreaming up a scenario in which we could work together on Broadway one day. One where we were performing on stage together like Judy and Betty Haynes do in White Christmas.
I think the reason that I got defensive is because Iâve become too realistic about my dreams. Iâm studying to be a teacher and I am passionate about that, but to be honest, if I knew that I wouldnât go broke, I wouldnât be a teacher. I would be out there auditioning for shows and traveling the world and writing childrenâs books and 500 other things that I have dreamt up over the years. Who wouldnât?
So when my sister, who is six years younger than me, insinuated that she would be doing something that she loved while I was in the classroom wondering if I missed any opportunities, it worried me.
Why wasnât I following my dreams?
I know exactly why. Because every time I tell someone that I am studying theatre, they say something snide about waitressing for the rest of my life. When I get upset over an audition or a cast list, my friends constantly remind me that âitâs not my life.â or âYouâre going to make something of yourself teaching while they all struggle.â Or my personal favorite: âYour goals are so much more realistic.â
Realistic.
At twenty, it seems like everyone around me knows what they want to do. Meanwhile, Iâve got a theatre resume longer than my actual resume which really only includes waitressing jobs and internships at preschools. And these other people, they have these dreams and they make them work to fit that standard of âjust interesting enoughâ to want to do it every day, but âjust normal enoughâ that no one will question their choices. But how do you make something that society has deemed âunrealisticâ into something worth following?
Everyone is so hellbent on being “realistic” these days that it feels like you canât dream or tell other people to follow their dreams without being told that youâre being naive. That youâre talking nonsense. âHow do you not understand that not everyone can have what they want, that the world isnât fair?â
But hereâs the thing about dreaming: we have to do it to survive. If we didnât have something to dream about, why do we go to bed every night? Hell, why do we get out of bed in the morning? Thatâs not to say that we all have to share the one same dream, or even that we’re each only allowed one dream and one dream alone. Iâm just saying that we have to have something to look forward to, right? And dreams change as your situation changes. They donât all have to be far-fetched. A womanâs dream of being a chef may have changed to a dream about a great life for her child. A high school student might realize that their dream of going to Harvard is really just a dream about getting a college degree.
Iâm not naive: I know that some people have a hard time being able to follow their dream. I know a lot of people never reach their goals. Some people dream about getting a job so they can put food on the table. But at least itâs a dream; at least itâs something.
So the next time someone tells you that youâre being unrealistic, tell them theyâre being cynical, or that you donât care, and do it anyway. Who are they that they get to tell you that youâre reaching too far? The âbaby boomersâ are always telling us that weâre lazy, we donât work as hard as they did. Besides there being a lot of things wrong with that statement, theyâve got a point. Weâve been programmed to create, but we are also programmed to survive and cover our own asses in case the economy tanks or World War III happens. Somewhere in the mix, we decided that creating was only creating as long as it comes at a profit. Being “rational” and “realistic” is making us lazy. Worse than that: it is making us complacent, and I think it is time people started doing something about it.
It took a freshman in high school to remind me that everyone has something to dream about. But honestly, if you forget your dreams, how can you remember yourself?